Mood: Discontent
Listening to: I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred Such contrast with my mood seriously.

I don't really feel very... good these days. I spend a lot of time thinking about things too seriously. I have been told that I'm a bit too much of a realist; I should do something about this.

Today was my off-day and I slept in like woah. I actually woke at 7 in the morning and after brushing my teeth and having a cup of black tea, I went back to sleep.

I had the strangest dream.

I was a student in this school. And apparently I was a bully - one of many there, might I add. I would do with my targets in the most cruellest manner; I would befriend them before I would beat them or steal their belongings. I'd rip their books, verbally abuse them. Vicious things such as that. There was no reason for it. It just seemed... like something to do. But I was one of the more tame bullies. There was no camaraderie between us fellow bullies, just so you know. I myself would often get into brawls with them. But there was this one boy. I couldn't really remember his name, only that it started with 'Z'. I made him my new victim, but I can't help but feel that he was the one toying with me. He would be the cause of my problems somehow and I'd be thinking of him desperately. It drove me to madness. And he would be there, getting me out of whatever he had happened to land myself in. But I feel no malice from him, just love. I don't really know what I felt towards him, just that I was uneasy when we didn't meet for long periods of time, pleased when he looks at only me, protective when I would wrap my arms over him and thrilled when I stroke his hair as though it was a cat's coat. I would seek him out during class (I played truant often apparently.) and get myself into a tizzy searching for him.

He would also often get himself into trouble, though whether on purpose or not I do not know. I suspect that he did it intentionally, just to see me break down. He got himself trapped in a locked-up, haunted classroom before and I remember crying and dragging a teacher there to knock down the door. He was smart; he got several other students locked inside to make it seemed like an accident and not some scheme of his. And when the doors were smashed, I ran inside a classroom filled with many pale, little children just staring at me. Ghosts they were, perhaps. I don't know, just that no one else seemed to be able to see them. I was so terrified that I started to shake but he just held me and told me he was alright.

This Zain, or Zahir or whatever his name is.. He's not the ideal picture of a girl's prince charming but I... I guess I really liked him.

I woke up to my phone ringing. Sarah was calling me to go down for this Hetalia team outing, which I did. I was supposed to go clothes shopping later on with my brother and sister but I was too exhausted for it. I spent the rest of the day reading Queen of the Damned.

Well, what a good waste of an off-day.

Labels: blah, dreams