Mood:
Tired
Listening to: Hollywood - Cute is What We Aim For
The way we're living makes no sense;
Take me back to the age of innocence.~ Hollywood - Cute is What We Aim For
So many things are happening in a short period of time. It tires me.
These days, I keep asking myself "What is love really?". Correction: I know what love is. But I don't know what being
in love is. I love my friends, each and every one of them. I would do almost anything for them. If they're happy, I'll glee with them. If they're upset, I'd want to punch the causes' teeth inwards. I'd laugh with them. I'd smile effortlessly around them. I look for them when they're not by my side and wish that they were. I love them through and through.
So what's the difference between
loving and
being in love?
I'm not sure if I have ever been in love before. Sure, I've looked at guys and there has been instances when I feel a bit more than the usual 'Oh-look-a-person-of-the-opposite-gender-ho-hum-nothing-much-to-care-for'. But I don't think that constitutes as love.
In a way, I do want to be in love. I want to worry myself sick for someone. I wanna yearn to look at someone even though we just spoke in the last 5 minutes. I wanna playback all our conversations and interactions in my head when I'm alone at night staring up at the ceiling from my bed. I want to be able to smile just by hearing that person's name. I want this all. Or I think I do.
Sometimes, I kind of wished that I have an arranged marriage. I wouldn't have to decide on anything. I'm a person who pretty much hates making decisions.
When I see people who love each other, I feel so envious. They found their missing jigsaw piece.
I'm not really searching for mine.
Labels: random
