Kisa-Kisa Theatre

2010-11-25T16:06:00.002+08:00

Mood: Irritated
Location: Blk 81, Level 2 (school)

Well. I never thought I'd come here again but here I am. Then again, this has always been a repeated procedure for me. Leaving my blog and coming back I mean. I was thinking of opening a new blog but then, the birth date of that blog would have no significance. So for a petty reason such as that, I'm gonna continue writing here till my 20th birthday and THEN I'll open up a new blog.

Ayup. I'm back folks.

On to the matter at hand. What made me want to come back to write. You see: my life has no shortage of drama. Seriously. All teenagers got their crap and shit to deal with but mine just seems so darn overwhelming. I just feel like I need to jot this down somewhere so I can remember it and reflect on the matter at hand.

So today. Hmm. My ex-boyfriend fainted during lecture. Or something. I don't know/care. Apparently he was lightheaded and vomiting and the lecturer had to call an ambulance to school to wheel him away. It was pretty 'dramaful' and people in the lecture were glancing at me. Like, wth? What do you expect me to do? Stand by his side until his eyes flutter open and look around only to settle on my worried, caring face? This ain't no Korean drama yo.

But seriously. He's dumb. REALLY dumb. Your dad has glaucoma and needs an expensive surgery. Your brother's business wasn't doing well and had to close down. You need a leg surgery amounting to THOUSANDS. And what do you do? You dramatized your symptoms (of what, our lecturers had NO IDEA. And they're professional nurses btw.) until you had to be carried away to A&E in an ambulance. Which would at least cost you $100+. Are you sure you're thinking well, you 23-year-old man?

Whatever. I don't have time to waste on him. Common tests are next week. I'm gonna focus on studies and do well.

Sighs. Drama.

2010-01-07T14:57:00.002+08:00

Mood: Sore

I am updating likee I'm on crack. Which may or may not be a good thing. But I digress.

Yesterday, went out with Mirul. After a long time of not seeing each other, we had a lot to talk about but it wasn't about school or such. More like, we were on the topic of guys and girls. Wet talked about the do's and don'ts, what the other gender does that makes us tick, your partner and their exes, so on and so forth.

Let's just say, it's a refreshing change to hear different opinions, especially from a guy. For example:

(I can't remember the exact words but the content is more or less there.)

On the topic of sweet gestures you can do for your partner:

Me: So let's just say it's the guy's birthday then they plan to go to the movies. Promise to meet at 11, somewhere. But girl goes through all the trouble to wake up early, bake a cake and go to guy's house early - say 8am? - to surprise him. As a male yourself, want or not?

Mirul: I'll be all like "Wtf, aren't we meeting at 11? Oh shi- I was still rolling in bed.". It's not that appealing.

Me: But what?? The girl was probably trying to give him a pleasant surprise! D:

On the topic of "You're the only one for m- Oh. She looks hot.":

Me: Why is it that when girls fall in love, they can forget about their earlier crushes but guys with girlfriends still look at other girls and "appreciate" their hot bods?? Unfair much? D<

Mirul: When a guy makes a comment about a girl's body, he's not neccesarily making a comparison between you and her you know? Why the insecurity?

Me: That's not the point~! The point is that you're looking at other women when your girlfriend's right. There. Beside. You. Sure is a nice way to tell her you appreciate her being around. /sarcasm

Mirul: Still, why the insecurity??

________________

Let's just say there's still a lot more but I feel tired of blogging. People are open to debate with me about this topic on msn. (:

2010-01-07T11:41:00.002+08:00

Mood: Lonely
Listening to: Look What You've Done - Jet

I have two bruises; one on each thigh. And it's funny how they're in a straight line. And my body aches a megaton.The funniest thing is that I have no idea how I got them. Ho hum.

Just spent an hour on my own. God, it was tougher initially; I'm too used to company. But I rather tolerate the hunger (Plus, I have no cash anyways. And I lost my ez-link. OTL) than go have lunch alone. I HATE being alone. It's different here behind the optometry block, coz it's quite vacant. But in the canteens, you become all the more aware of how lonely you are when you see that other people are surrounded by company. Ah~ the insecurity.

But there's always other things to do - I got myself a new header image and now doing this post. I can't always depend on other people to alleviate my loneliness. It seems like I'm always latching myself to either Atiqah, Dear, or Mikun. Had to really hold back from sms-ing any 3 to ask where they were.

You're pathetic Haz.

2010-01-06T12:58:00.002+08:00

Mood: Gloomy

Seems like people have this impression that I don't really give a damn about a lot of things. Well, contrary to popular belief, I do. I hate it when I'm compared to other people. I hate it when I'm left alone. I hate it when I feel that I've reached the extent of my capabilities and it's not enough. I hate it when I'm unhappy. Oh god, you must hate me so for being such an ungrateful being.

First post in a long while and I'm whining. Whazzup beetches?

Also, change of top banner is due. Wonder what picture should I used next....?

2009-08-17T03:08:00.000+08:00

Mood: Awake
Listening to: When It Rains - Paramore

Have you ever thought if you mean anything to anyone?

Like, if you were to run into traffic on pupose and got knocked down and died, how would people react? Would they mourn for you? Would you have visitors by your hospital bedside or would you be alone all the way up to your last, gasping breath? Would anyone even give a rat's ass about you?

Don't worry guys, I'm not gonna 'run into traffic on purpose' or anything lol. I was just musing to myself. ~~I am pretty much aware it is a disturbing thought to have at 3 in the morning.~~

So anyways, now I'm slacking around and randomly missing people. How are you guys?

2009-08-15T15:27:00.000+08:00

Mood: Tired
Listening to: Bukit Merah Library

Hoo. This is the first time I've ever used Mitchy on my break time. I have another 25 minutes of my break and already I'm blank on what to do.

I think I'm going through some sorta phase now. I don't have the mood, motivation or interest to do things anymore. I've skipped school like a gajillion times already thanks to this funk I'm in. I'll be on my way to school and then I'd suddenly decide that I can't take going to class and instead, loiter around the school's vicinity. This kind of attitude is gonna get me into some real deep shit, considering my first exam paper is this coming Friday.

In fact, I'm wondering if nursing was even the proper choice for me. Looking at what I've become now, I can't imagine myself being some self-sacrificing nurse for the public. I feel unworthy of this occupation. Then again, it's not like I have another passion. Changing courses would be meaningless without it.

I can't even be bothered to get worked up over my current relationship problem. If you can call it a relationship even. I'm so tired of getting angry and upset. It's like I've turned all immune to these feelings. I suppose they were right about the saying: Third time's the charm. I honestly can bring myself to care about you after this Wednesday. All the 'I love you's in the world can't do jackshit now. And to think I would have done anything to hear you say that last time. It's not just my social life, my bonds with my family has also worn me out. It's been almost a month since dad last talked to me; his last words being, "You'll be my ticket to hell. I'm sure.".

It's time I start thinking about myself.

If I can be bothered enough.

2009-08-12T15:27:00.000+08:00

Mood: Cold
Listening to: Forgot my headphones so just hearing the tapping of my keypad..

I... I feel so exhausted now.

I've been skipping school again. Lately, life seems kinda meaningless now. I kinda feel like devoting myself to helping the needy children in Africa or something. So that I'll feel like I've done what's my life's worth of this time on Earth. Hmm.. Something seems wrong with that sentence but I can't figure out what. Pardon me, the airconditioning in Jurong Library is making my brain fizz.

My whole 18 years, I haven't really done anything that I believe is worth living for. All I've done is get into stupid shit with people. And there's a lot of stupid shitty, untrustworthy people in this world. Men especially. I mean, I know not all men are despicable scumbags but the majority of you lot are shitty.

It is here, that if alcohol is not forbidden for me, I would have taken a swing. ~~In fact, I'm feeling a little drunk and disoriented already.~~

Where was I...? Oh yes, men being shitty, fickle-minded buttheads. You lot just grade a girl by her looks. OOOH bonus, if she can hold a conversation for longer than 20 seconds! What the hell please... How dare you treat people as something 'fun'. To be used and discarded as you wish. To help you pass the time and soothe your stupid piece of male rod. I hate men. And if it isn't a sexual matter, it's ego. Pride. Thinking that only you are right. Never trying to see things from another's point of view. How utterly selfish.

You might not wanna take this all to heart. I am just ranting now because majority of my problems are male-specific (I don't see my girls giving me problems.). Let's just say that I'm not really on favourable terms with the male species now.

Many a times I have felt that life is not really worth living and lacks meaning. Then I realised that I have to give meaning to life myself. So I start making a purpose, something I can work towards in life.

At first, I thought of making other people happy. But then it just feels unfair to myself, putting other's happiness before mine. Then I thought of bettering myself - visually and spirtually. But then again, I felt empty. There wasn't really a point of making myself prettier. Though people started looking more and talking more to me, it made me feel very sad that people look at only the exterior of an individual. As for spiritual enlightenment, I've pretty much strayed from the path of religion. God is merciful and forgiving but then again, I feel ashamed of myself. There should be no redemption for a filthy being like me.

I have no idea what to do pertaining to my future now. I'll just scrape by my exams for now. It's in another 2 weeks and I haven't done a lick of preparation. Yet, I am not worried because I do not put in much value to my education. I live for the day and I'm pretty much satisfied with this.

Alright. Enough of my drunkard babble. I will talk again properly soon. Hopefully.

2009-07-27T12:07:00.006+08:00

Mood: Lonely
Listening to: When It Rains - Paramore

Past few days, blogger was pretty screwed up. The text box was shifted and several keys were missing. A random check shows that it's okay now though. (:

A lot of things have happened this past few days. So one condensed post coming up!

.::~School~::.

So like Dawn’s younger sister has H1N1. So she got quarantined. And won't be coming to school till this Thursday. Which explains my mood now. ... Damn, I hate being alone. ):

Massive emo loner issues aside, my lfe has been thrown into a spiral of chaos again. Me and Dawn went to work on a project dued a week from now and we forgot all about the project dued last week. So that makes it 3 projects undone – CNP, CITS and PAS. Funny how group projects suddenly become pair work. To top it all off, I’m supposed to hand in my individual assignment last Thursday but since I MC-ed from school, that’s 5% gone. Oh, did I mentioned I didn't follow the given format? :)

*facepalm*

However, not everything in school has been sucky. Last week, our school celebrated Racial Harmony Day. Everyone was dressed up so prettily~! Me included! 8D

Some ~~shameless camwhorage~~ nice photos:

And that marked the end of Cultural Cosplay Day. XD

... I seem to be showing my teeth in smiles a lot. >__>

.::~Work~::.

... The only thing worth my time mentioning about work is just that my payday is tomorrow. ... And 5/6 of it is going into my PDA. OTL

.::~Family~::.

Screwed up. Enough said really. I'm gonna start packing my clothes and neccessities in a bag, just for precaution's sake.

.::~Social life~::.

Is a complete mess? Aha... I... haven't really been addressing certain problems. It feels like I'm running away from things now. But the truth is that I have no idea what to do or feel now. Friends are being involved because of my issues. And it sucks because I don't want to burden them.

... I know you all want me to hate him and to keep away from him. But... he's not like what you guys think. He's only human, with faults and weaknesses. I vaguely understand what he's going through now because I've been through something similar. So I want to there for him, to be of any use, to make things better... somehow. On the other hand, I don't want to hurt the other party which I am pretty sure I am already doing. Oh, why must I be made to choose?

My indecisiveness really takes the cake. :/

2009-07-19T20:43:00.011+08:00

Mood: Okay
Listening to: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

It's amazing what a long nap after a good cry can do. That, and a whole lot of Tim Tams, Kit Kats and Toblerone. (:

Warning: Insane amounts of camwhorage. And crack. Courtesy of Mitchy.

So like, you have one bored Haz...

But-

LOOKIE WHAT WE HAVE...

FAMIGLIA TIEM.

So yesterday morning, Hazey bb went back to Australia. I set off for Changi Airport waaay early in the morning. And gosh, it was my first time walking around there. It was so.. relaxing. And kinda romantic, walking through the large halls with calming violin music playing in the background. I kinda like the whole place. (:

So we had a final breakfast together, the whole Famiglia. And we took piiiictures!

We're really nice and normal people! :D

Except for the part where we're not. ;D

And it will be till the end of the year before we can meet again. We're gonna miss you Hazel. The Famiglia waits for you. (:

We'll be waiting for your return, dear. (:

______________________

After that, I went to watch OTOT (Own Time Own Target) with Hannah and a few other astro members at Bugis. What can I say except... TWO THUMBS UP? Utter fun and laughs I tell you. The first part I was busy fangirling Leeroy. Second part was equally enjoyable because fasdfadgas MUSICAL. I love those kinda plays with the characters randomly breaking into songs (302! XD) And according to Hannah, I gave out this half horrified-delighted gasp when Leeroy first went “FUCK YOU LAH.”. Yea, I said 'first' – only god knows how many times he uttered vulgarities lol.

Also I caved in and blew $5 on gaming Silent Hill at Bugis Junction afterwards. OTL I need an arcade partner now that Hazel's left me... *eyes yooouuu. YES you, fellow reader. 8D *

Also, yesterday...

Nevermind.

I am still confused.

2009-07-19T16:29:00.002+08:00

Mood: Upset
Listening to: Tak Bisakah - Peter Pan

Hey guys! Let's play this game! There's gonna be 10 messages that I'm gonna come up with. And some of them are gonna be directed to some people. The fun part is that they're not specified so you guys can guess which message applies to you! You might just find more than one directed at you! : D

1) I'm sorry for making fun of you. It wasn't nice. But damn hell, it was funny.
2) I've always wondered if you knew how weird you are.
3) I'm really sorry you're gonna die soon and I'm even more sorry that I don't feel as sorry as I should be.
4) You are one of the few people out there who scares me. For serious.
5) I hate you.
6) I like you.
7) I miss you everyday.
8) I wish you were here.
9) Disgusting. One word is enough.
10) I don't really know what to say to you.

I feel like crying.

2009-07-14T23:21:00.003+08:00

Mood: Blank
Listening to: The Curse of Curves - Cute is What We Aim for

I finally got it back and it broke only moments later.
What an omen.

2009-07-14T16:17:00.002+08:00

Mood: Blah
Listening to: New Divide - Linkin Park

DAWN: HELLOO EVERYONE. DAWN OFFICIALLY CAM WHORED WITH HAZRINA BTE SALIM/KASSIM (: LEMME DO HER THE HONOURS OF UPLOADING THE PICTURES. :D

- PHOTO UPLOADING FAILS -

...Oh Mitchy I love you so. ^3^

Anyways, yeah brought Mitchy to school. Dawn has been enjoying it very much. Despite saying that it sucks and is so "china". ... And she now calls it a bitch.

That aside, I found out that I don't have to hand in majority of my work this week but next week instead. So the procrastinator in me is rejoicing. 8D Plus, I'm planning to hang out with the Famiglia tomorrow. It'll be the last time we get to hang out with Hazel so I'm planning to enjoy her company as much as possible. Oh BB, you're not even gone and I miss you already. D':

That aside, I think I should lessen on the eyeliner. I just realised that the whole long haired, black-rimmed eyes look coupled with my dark clothes (work clothes but still...) screams "OMG I'M SO EMOGOTH RAAAAWR BOO HOOO.". Not really a good thing for my image. But I love staring at people and sensing their discomfort. I am a bitch really. Like laptop, like owner.

Mom and dad are still fighting. It makes me feel very uncomfortable honestly. Especially since mom has been confiding in me about things and I can't believe I have been so blind as to the status of our household. I mean, I know we're not some ideal, happy family but to actually stop and think that my family is breaking up is very... disturbing.

.... I musn't dwell on such things. Oh well, I'm going to work after this. And Mitchy is kinda tired- I mean, low on battery. So I'll just go and stone for the next half hour before my Psychology class. That's something to look forward to. (:

2009-07-13T23:34:00.011+08:00

Mood: Dorky
Listening to: Newport Living - Cute is What We Aim for

Today Hazey crashed my poly! She had to attend one of the most boring lessons, FON, but still, she survived through it. And god, we laughed a lot. It felt like the good old days, taking the bus to school together and all. (:

And after that, we went to Bugis to spam House of the Dead 4. WITH TEN BUCKS, WE GOT THROUGH TILL STAGE 5. The boss at stage 3 totally kick our ass though. Stupid chainsaw bastard. D: We were so ready to die at stage 4 coz we only had one credit left each but we managed to survive! Full of hope and renewed determination, we continued... only to die shortly afterwards. Fate, why so bitch? D: ~~Also, what's with people liking to crowd around shooters? You don't see them around racers. XD~~

We then went to Kino and shit happened. My right eye started hurting and watering. THEN MY CONTACTS DROPPED OUT. OTL I ended up using a S&W dressing to cover my eye. At all 3 stalls where we patronised, the cashiers kept asking me if i was okay and to get well soon. Funniest was at Kino itself when I jokingy went "OOPS I CANNOT SEE SO I KEY IN WRONG PIN OKAY HURHUR.". It made the cashier laugh. XD

And we met Bela and a few other members at Mac! Ended up hanging out with them a little. Spent most of the time recounting old events with Hazel and laughing our butts off. I ended up buying some funny post-its and we went home after that.

Hey Hazel, NI ZAI DA RAO WO DE GRANDFATHER?? 8DDDDDDD

... Okay nevermind, inside joke. XD

Also, Hazey took a pic of me with my eye covered (I was unprepared so my face was damn wtf can haha) and we compared it to other pictures of myself. God. I change so much. And almost all the time. OTL

Warning: Unglamness and unbelievable transformation in store. Not for the weak-hearted!

Me in Sec3! Omg look at the shitty stringed hair. So embarrassing... And my house shirt looked like it was gonna eat me up. And the weird smile auuugh. ... Although like real liddat my smile has gotten better. OTL

...Ignore the Ranka pose. This was taken sometime in March this year if I recall correctly. It was taken after our collection of O level results in the Lot 1 Mac. Better glasses now. And less shittier hair. Major improvement from earlier days, though not that apparent.

NURSING UNIFORM. *hearts* No fringe, no glasses. Definitely changing here. This was taken approximately 3 weeks ago.

Different like WOAH. Sure or not same person? Amazing what rebonded hair can make you look like. That, and ~~broken glasses~~ contact lens. This was taken by Aishah during the third week of school closure. Which would mean only two weeks ago. Oh my, what a difference from my BP days. o__o

This was taken on the day of the Transformers movie outing. Was all dressed up prettily in a... dress. And it was pink. Wth haha. Also, I got myself a fringe on this very day. Any difference?

Cosfest Day 1! I cosplayed as Leon Magnus (right). I have no idea why people kept guessing that Shang (left) was me instead. OTL This was taken 2 days ago. People have been telling me I look unrecognisable. They go like "Who are you?" and I went like "J-japan. We've met.." and they go all O__O. NIIIICE.

Taken yesterday after me and mom got back from a Malay wedding. Was supposed to go for cosfest day 2 but I decided against it and accompanied mom instead. Mommy looks so tired; she's been through a lot. ): But she cheered up looking at our picture. So yeah. (:

Me. Today. ~~Told you I look funny.~~ Do I look so scary. OTL I d-don't intend to glare at people. It can't be helped that I have garang eyes okay. D:

So... how much have I changed? Any opinions? (:

2009-07-12T23:53:00.004+08:00

Mood: Embarrassed
Listening to: Time - Cute is What We Aim For

Oh god, Haz. Control yourself next time. Emotional outbursts are not cool.

________________________________

Also, next post will be about cosfest most probably. I'll try to find time to update soon.

Teaser pic:

OH GOOOD I DID LEON. I REALLY DID HIM.
*still in shock*

2009-07-09T23:36:00.003+08:00

Mood: Drained
Listening to: Insomnia - Craig David

People, if I don't reply to you on msn late at night, do not take it to heart. It's not that I hate your guts and the thought of replying to you offend my sensibilities (low possibility is low but totally possible). It's more like I've fallen asleep in front of my notebook. I have lost count the times that I just dozed off with my fingers on the keyboard. OTL

COSFEST IS IN TWO DAYS. OH GOD. *is kinda dying*I'm planning not to sleep so I can finish Chaltier. AND my boot covers. AND my sleeves. AND the brooches. Oh god, I am screwed 360 degrees. OTL

Anyways, come on down to Cosfest guys! It's at Downtown East this weekend. If you guys happen to be in the area, do gimme a riiing. You'll get to see me as a guy LOL. FLAT CHEST HOOO!8D ~~Not like there's any difference when it's binded or not. OTL~~

2009-07-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

Mood: GOOD. (:
Listening to: Ku Katakan Dengan Indah - Peter Pan

OMG can you guys believe it that I fell asleep while blogging yesterday? As quoted by Is, I'm the Sleeping Queen (TM) really. This is the second day in a row I slept with my contacts on. I am so asking for it I tell ya.

And ALSO, I didn't know I had work today. Morning shift somemore wtf. I was rolling about on my brother's couch, just chillax-ing and typing out this post. Then I started wondering should I ask for an off-day. So I smsed my boss 'do you want me to come over today?'. She responded with a call, conveying the message of 'Get-your-ass-to-work-mofo'. Oh this happened at 8.10 and my reporting time was at 9. (:

Crappy starting aside, today was actually a good day. Atiqah dropped by my workplace just to pay a visit and we had lunch together. We had a heart-to-heart talk on life matters and stuff. Damn, we sure can click! She's such a super sweet girl I swear. (:

And then I took my cheque from HQ and met up with Sarah sweetums at Lot 1. Sarah agreed that I looked damn garang goth with my new haircut. Plus the eyeliner and all; it completed the whole image haha. There was this girl at Aries who squeaked when I looked at her for blocking our way. I-I'm not that scary right... OTL

But anyways, I banked in my cheque afterwards, went home and here I am. Blogging. God I love blogging haha. So let me continue regarding yesterday's outing!

So yesterday, I went to work as per normal and ~~got imprisoned like Rapunzel~~ got assigned to cleaning the storeroom. However, I made like Cinderella once the clock struck 2 and ciao-ed. Aishah was such a dear and helped me with my hair and make-up. (:

I had planned to watch a movie with J today. So imagine what happened when I found out there was a cock-up ~~AGAIN~~ at HQ and my pay wasn't in. With less than $10 in my bank account, I was like freaking like RAWR but thank god brother dear was such a dear and wired me $30. It (literally) pays to be nice to your brother by bringing him home fast food almost every night. (:

So where was I...? Oh yeah, movie with J. I invited Hazel along since J said that it'll be merrier with more people. (This makes him sound totally sociable but it's so hard to believe from his deadpanned voice. OTL) So we watched Transformers and despite not watching the first movie, I truly enjoyed it. SO MUCH ACTION. ~~And I swear I didn't cry.~~

Then we met up with Mirul and we all trooped over to this air-conditioned halker food place thingum and everyone ordered chicken rice wth. Except moi. Who was original and chose noodles. 8D But everyone kept staring at me eating with chopsticks. SORRY I AM MADE OF FAILS OKAI. D: But Hazey more fails; she knocked her head against the sharp corner THRICE. LOL, BB. LOL. ;D

Then yours truly decided we need to game so we went to the arcade at Iluma but there was no HOTD4. So sucky. Thank god we went to Bugis Junction where we found the blessed machine. 8D I was gonna change 10 bucks but Mirul and Hazel held me back. DAMMIT GUYS. I NEED TO SATISFY MAH CRAVINGS. D<

Imagine a prettily-dressed girl shrieking and shooting like huzzah. NIIIICE. But hey, I got till the third stage! 8D

And theeeen we took a neoprint! Oh god, so much fun. It was like eleven bucks but totally worth it. We took whacky poses and decorated the pics with crack. I shall scan it up soon. SOOON.

We then went hoooome. Tired but totally awesome. Also, mommy is suspecting I have a boyfriend now. I shall never forget her foiled attempt at trying to trap me haha. HAZEL IN AUSTRALIA. Wry so cute mommy. Why. 8D

AAAAH SCHOOL GOING TO OPEN I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING FFFFFFFF-

Edit: I got a free lipstick from work today! I has been happied. 8D

2009-07-07T02:11:00.003+08:00

Mood: Contemplative
Listening to: Tak Bisakah - Peter Pan

It's kinda uncomfortable typing with your notebook on your stomach as you lie down flat on your back on your bed. But we lazy prople are very adaptable hurhurhur.

I've realised that I'm blogging less these days. Why? I have a theory - I only blog as an alternative to talking with someone.Nowadays, there's always a pair of listening ears there for me so hence the loss of need for blogging. But once in a while, when I feel like talking about things that no one would understand, I'd come back here.

I've noticed I've actually grown more wary of people nowadays. I always keep asking myself about their motives. It's very disturbing to say the least. I hope it's just a thing-of-the-moment and will pass soon. :/

Okay, sleep time. I got a movie tomorrow~! TRANSFORMERS HELL YEAH.

2009-07-05T21:51:00.002+08:00

Mood: Indescribable
Listening to: Mungkin Nanti - Peter Pan

Obligatory remembrance post. Because I have STM like that. OTL

I'm feeling quite happy and peaceful now. Unless you're reading this. In which I feel nonchalant and like, whatevs.

... Idiot.

And thank you. For everything.

2009-07-03T01:29:00.001+08:00

Mood: Grateful
Listening: Sayang Sayang - Alif Aziz

I'm the happiest now than I have ever been in a long while.

2009-06-30T22:28:00.003+08:00

Mood: Pleased
Listening: Jujur (Honest) - Radja

Mmm. Malay songs are kinda nice to listen to sometimes. *ho hum*, Though just like English songs, a whole chunk of it revolves around love. *laughs*

Initially, I wanted to blog about yesterday but euh... I kinda like fell asleep on my laptop. OTL I've been falling asleep easily these days; my body must be catching back up on that sleep debt. :/

So yesterday, I was like ON A ROLL. Went to work in the morning (where else do I go?? Watson is my second home already I swear D: ) and guess how much my till racked up when I left at 2? It was like a freaking thousand three! I usually have trouble reaching a thousand when I work till 5. And my till wasn't short of cash! 8D I've been losing money at the till lately so this was some really good news for me~! ((((:

I usually work in the mornings till 5 (except today coz Thomas is off so I'm reporting in at 1) but the reason that I left early yesterday was coz I wanted to go back to Bethany. I had took pics with some of the folks there and I went to develop a copy for them. I had just intended to stay and chat a bit but I kinda came in at their dinner time (CAN YOU IMAGINE HAVING DINNER AT 4??) so I ended up helping feed some of them and clearing the tables. At that time... I don't know, I felt really.. good. It was different from my clinical attachment period because at that time, I was bound there by duty but when you're voluntarily helping out... It feels so different. It's indescribable really - the feeling of feeling good when doing good. (:

So I met up with Shang after that and we trooped to my house to unpack my wigs. MIHASHI IS TOO SHORT (actually it wasn't; it looked fine on my styrofoam head. darn my big hair OTL) and Japan-san was pretty much perfect. I went out into the living room with it on and my brother flipped. XD One more thing: WHY DO I LOOK LIKE SUCH A BUTCH WITH SHORT WIGS. OTL I also tried on Lulu with my Leon costume and Shang kept fangirling. God I was so embarrassed. It's gonna be scary if I mess up Leon since his fanbase in Singapore is HUGE. ;A;

Um. That's about it for yesterday. And before you ask, no, I haven't done a single speck of work. I am so screwed. OTL

2009-06-29T19:10:00.002+08:00

Mood: Touched
Listening: First Love - Utada Hikaru

OH GOD THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE LEFT IN THIS WORLD.

*coughs* Well, it's a long story. See, I was waiting for the bus to work today and after two 188s zoom past me (they were like sardined-canned with people), I decided to take a cab. So I hailed this cab and guess what? It halted only to pick up the guy behind me. FFFFF-

But anyways, I got a cab shortly after that and it was this friendly old Chinese man. I usually refrain from talking with taxi drivers (because they YAK AND YAK and they drive slower and the meter rises higher- you get the point) but this guy was being really friendly so I didn't mind. It felt good to talk with someone. We talked about traffic and young love and generation gaps and careers. He kept saying how I seemed so decent and he was trying to like sell his son to me HAHA. But anyways, we were approaching my workplace (and he did drive slower, the meter was like $4+ more than usual) when I realised that...

I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH CASH ON ME.

FFFFF- I was like all OH NOES CRAP. I only had five bucks with me and please, the fare was around $20 (damn you ERP!). I was starting to get really shit scared and I asked him if he could just wait a while in the taxi stand while I run to Watsons and beg my manager for cash but he went all...

"Nevermind. It's okay." (:

And I went all "WHAT. NO. NO IT'S NOT. YOU MUSN'T BE SO TRUSTING, UNCLE." but he kept insisting it was fine and that I was late (I was actually OTL) and I should just go in for work but I went "GIMME YOUR NUMBER I WILL CONTACT YOU AGAIN AND PAY YOU OKAY." And he laughed and he did. I had only five bucks on me left so I gave that to him too, despite his insistence that he didn't want it (I shoved it in his breastpocket).

Bottom line is: GOOD PEOPLE STILL EXISTS IN THIS WORLD. (: God is so great, I swear.

PS: AAAH I HAVE THIS EXTREEEEMEEEE STOMACHE AND I KEEP MAKING FREQUENT TRIPS TO THE TOILET AND WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP INSISTING ON MAKING ME LAUGH WHEN IT HUUUURTS DAMN YOU GUYS.

ALSO. AAAAAAAH ANOTHER TWO WEEKS TO ME DOING LEON AND JAPAN-SAAAAAN AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING AHHHH GOD HELP ME. OTL

... WHY AM I WORRYING ABOUT MUNDANE STUFF WHEN MY HOMEWORK IS STILL A MOUNTAIN SOMEONE JUST SHOOT ME.

2009-06-27T09:04:00.003+08:00

Mood: Rejuvenated
Listening to: Popstar - Ken Hirai

EUH MAH GAWD. I just got back from joggiiiing~~
My calves are hurting like WOAH. But it felt kinda good. (:

So like yesterday, Is smsed me and we just chatted a bit. I mentioned that my body kept aching and maybe I should go out and jog and exercise or something. So he asked where to? And I went like euh... anywhere? And then he went like how about one round about CCK? And I went like ONE RO- urghhhh okay? And then yeah.

WE RAN LIKE FROM KEAT HONG TO SUNSHINE PLAZA THEN BEHIND THE BLOCKS NEAR OUR SCHOOL ALL THE WAY TO NEAR BUKIT BATOK DRIVING CENTER AND THEN BACK TO KEAT HONG OH GOD SO FAR CAN. And the longest I have ever ran before this was my 2.4 during secondary school. OTL

But it felt good. And we managed to talk and catch up on stuff. He still looks the same from all the years back and he is STILL ridiculously tall. And though he stutters lesser now, he still maintained his innocence. Like seriously; he gave me two pushes on the swing (... WHAT. My inner child demanded immediate gratification.) and stopped because he said he felt wrong touching me. It was just my baaaack. And when we were walking, he maintained this like distance between me and him (seriously, we could have fitted another average-sized person between us). And then he was a little nervous walking with me to Teck Whye coz nosy aunties might spot him and tell his parents and he didn't want them to be talked about. WRY SO SWEET. He makes me feel like an utter devil honestly. ):

ALSO. HE SAID I CHANGED. INTO A MINAH. A LITTLE. Like wtfffff- seriously. He is not the only person to have said that recently. At least Is wasn't that bad - he said the way I talk makes me seem minah-ish. Shu Ying said that when she first saw me she thought me a minah too. She said it was my eyes and the way my face is. Like I can change my face - I've been LIVING WITH IT for 18 years FFFFF-

But I told my mom later on though that I went out with a guy. She knew I went jogging but not with a male (sexist parents haha). She was surprisingly all chillax about it. Most probably because of how I described Is. Mommy is so coolios nao. (:

Going to rest a bit and get ready for work. Aiiieeee. I have work tomorrow as well... OTL

... It's like I'm starting to finally find my 'system restore' key. (:

2009-06-27T00:49:00.004+08:00

Mood: Hopeful
Listening to: Jump - Madonna

Okay, I've spent enough time doing stupid stuff this whole year. TIME TO S.U.M.O (Shut up, move on)! Gonna put my life in the correct gear again.

List of things I'm planning to do this two weeks of break:
- finish my homework/ projects (no duuuh.)
- work on Japan-san's sword
- go back to Bethany's for a visit
- go back to Yishun Eldercare to return the pen I accidentally took OTL
- be brave enough to buy a bubble blower (FFFFF- I'll look so utterly childish D: )
- watch a movie
- go jogging on alternate days
- buy one of those cool lighters that lit up just by pressing down the switch.. thingum (awful explanation i know... OTL)
- clean my room
- gain 5kg
- play badminton (oh god i miss this like BURNING)
- get my specs fixed
- do some baking
- develop a proffessional working attitude (which means no hooting in my nurse uni D: )
- go shopping
- be an overall nice person to people (not so hard. right?)

... and that's about it. (:

2009-06-24T23:26:00.003+08:00

Mood: Annoyed
Listening to: Meadowtronic - We Love Katamari OST

Oh go get rid of that guilt, you weakling.
It's not like you were thinking of the consequences when you were literally over me.
If you're gonna be such a pussy now, you shouldn't have let your dick do the thinking okay.
So stop ~~being a woman~~ brooding and get over it.

Guys. When you want them to commit, they can't. And when you're going along with no strings attached, they go batshit crazy and become paranoid.
Typical.

2009-06-23T21:03:00.005+08:00

Mood: Calm
Listening to : Travelling - Utada Hikaru

You can never know what's gonna happen from the moment you woke up.

My five minute nap last night lasted till 5am, haha. Guess that's what you get for depriving your body of sleep. And though I got ready early, I still went out of the house late. On a whim, I decided to take a cab to Yishun for my CA. Fate seemed to have put me on the right track though, since I started to cry in the cab but that's a different story.

And then there was CA. God, I never knew old people can be so cute. I helped a granny color a drawing. In a way, they're like kids. Really, really cute. Then there was a granny who was trying to matchmake me and Firdaus. We laughed uncomfortably. Cute, but not nice. Typical of people to match others into couples base on race.

...It's times like these that you really wished that you'd knew how many people (and who exactly) reads your blog so you know the extent of explicitness you should write about. Well, I'll just be vague then.

-Edited out after a cold shower to clear my head.-

I ended up going to work late coz of this. So late that they asked me to just go home when I was halfway there. Which was what I did. So made of fails can. I definitely cannot afford to be late tomorrow, make-out session or not.

...God, I need to shower. Like, right about now.

2009-06-22T19:49:00.002+08:00

Mood: Drained
Listening to: Battery - Metallica

I remembered a friend of mine once survived four days without sleep (for whatever insane reason, I forgot). It makes me wonder how that was humanly possible; I'm dying here.

I have been surviving on black tea and biscuits. I can't seem to keep things in my stomach. And when I went through the fever scanning machines they detected high temperatures in me but the thermometer stated I was 36.4 oC. I hope I'm not falling ill. This would be troublesome; I have work for every day of the week. Except today. Rose was damn nice to let me off work today.

Coping with CA well so far. Met up with Sarah after my CA today and we went Bugis. God, that girl can shop. She bought 3 pairs of shoes totalling up to a hundred bucks. Or more. ... It should be more. Unless you didn't count the thirty I paid, for this gorgeous pair of white ribbon shoes. I am envious woman~! GSS much? At her insistence, I got myself a dainty pink dress with a white bolero and a dark fuschia halter vest. It feels awkward to buy things that I've never bought before. And I'm not even going out during my holidays since everybody else I know starts their CA in the second week. And I can't possibly go wreck shit with Hazel and Hannah in a dress when they come back. Oh well, according to her, it's supposed to make me feel better. Retail therapy it's called.

... I feel very monotone and tired. I'll try to have nap now. Everyone's out so I'm alone at home. It's been a while since I've slept on the floor (super cold and super nice) so I'm gonna do just that. Adios.

I find myself updating a lot ever since I got Mitchy. That's the name I gave my beloved ASUS EEE PC. Oh god, mommy loves you, yes she does. You just continue playing that song list that mommy compiled as she lies down on the floor for a... quick... nap.......

Also: My brother is a cute dork. When he asked what I was doing and I replied I was enjoying my new notebook, he actually went 'OOOWOW SUGOII DESHO!!!!". That bumbling fool just knows how to make me laugh. I guess it's his own way of cheering me up. ... God I need to keep my smile from overturning into my permanent frown.

2009-06-22T05:24:00.001+08:00

Mood: Crushed
Listening to: Float On - Modest Mouse

It's now 5:03AM and I haven't slept in the last 23 hours.

I do feel a litte tired but that's just from all the crying earlier. And god, my contacts sure sting. I'll go get my glasses repaired soon. It just feels more comfortable since I'm already used to it.

I'm not a person who had much of a need for things to myself. It's not that I deprive myself but I'm just the sort of person who goes "Oh well." and continue on my way. I don't care much. But then I started to think that "I want it. I want this." and this scares me. I can't remember wanting something this bad. Being with the one I like makes me so happy that I can't stand it. But I can't help thinking that I'm the only one who thinks this way; that our happiness together won't last.The more I fall for you, the more I think I'm the only one who really wants this relationship. Was I a substitute? Was I wrong to think that you might have actually cared for me?

And then the happiness that I felt started to get accompanied by this painful feeling. At first, it was easy to ignore it coz I thought I could accept the fact that it was inevitable our relationship would end someday. I mean, it was doomed right from the start haha. But today seemed to have proved me wrong. I didn't accept it graciously like I thought I could. I was just so afraid of the pain that-

You know what happened anyways. I'm not even sure if you'll be reading this. I just wanna say thank you, for everything. I kept apologising and though you said it was okay - that it wasn't my fault - it's not. I was prepared for it to end but I forgot about how you would feel. In a way, I was actually... afraid. That you'll feel nothing at all. Was I wrong to have hoped that way? I didn't want you hurt. If I knew, I would have...

Just so you know, I don't hate you. It would have been easier on me if I did. But I can't. It took me a long while but I can finally give you the answer to the question you've once asked me. I do like you. But if my emotions are a bother for you, I'll get rid of it. I like you enough for me to help you be happy at the expense of myself. But that doesn't matter now right. In fact, you shouldn't care about me at all now. You should go back to waiting and I should go back to nothing. It'd was going to be like this sooner or later anyways.

If you're wondering, I don't regret that second chance. But this time, it seems different. A bit more hurting. The kid has finally gotten attached to the new toy, only to have it taken away. I'm just wondering how much longer will the pain go on and how much more do I have to cry till it goes away.

I promised you I wouldn't cry but I keep breaking that promise. I'm sorry.

2009-06-16T22:45:00.002+08:00

Mood: Discontent
Listening to: Seeker - Star Ocean: The Last Hope (Arrange Soundtrack)

Okay, pertame sekali, banyak ampun kepade korang yang tak boleh bace post ni. Kerane tetibe, terase pulak nak blog dalam Melayu haha. (Macam korang boleh paham pun ayat aku ni haha.) And sorry sikit eh, unlike typing dalam Ingerris, gua tak main bahase baku lah haha.

Mm.. baru-baru ni aku macam terase janggal sikit. Macam ade rase nyesal sume tu. Yelah, tahun ni macam tahun 3B untukku - buat-bende-bodoh. Nyesal pertame, aku gi hancurkan hubungan aku dengan kawan baik aku, A. Macam pikir balik, aku tak tau macamane bole sampai dini lah. Yelah, dulu kemain baik, slalu cakap, bergurau, etc. Skarang, berite satu habuk pun tak dengar. Aku mengaku lah, yang kali kite nak jumpe tapi tak tersampai tu salah aku. Patutnyer aku jangan nak cube selitkan a meeting bile kite dah janji nak jumpe tapi kan aku dah cakap: 3B babe. Skarang pulak ade rindu kat dier sikit tapi aku rase kalau dier nak dengar name aku tanpe meluak rase pun dah kire nasib baik haha...

Okay. Menyedihkan ah pikir pasal ni.

Kalau boleh, aku nak berbual ngan dier. Macam REALLY berbual. Aku nak bilang dier pasal budak tu ngan ape yang aku telah buat selame ni. Okay lah, secare terus-terang, aku menyesal. Walaupun bukan aku yang mulekan hubungan ni, aku ade jugak peranan orait. Dan walaupun aku sedar yang aku mungkin terluke, aku teruskan je. Macam aku pernah cakap; aku sedih takpe, asal orang lain happy aku okay je. Pikir balek, aku ni bengap ke hape seh? Orang hidup untuk diri sendiri kan? Yang aku pentingkan orang lain ni kenape?

Aku rase diri aku ni macam disalahfahami orang lain. Aku inginkan orang yang benar-benar tahu aku DAN boleh terime aku. Skarang ni, semua orang kenalkan aku dengan perkataan 'cute'. Aku macam nak jerit, "BUKAN TIDAK DAN NEHI. TU SUME LAKONAN SEMATE-MATE." Penat tahu, asyik act je. Macam life ni pentas permanent pulak.

Orait ah, setakat ni je aku berbebel. Esok ade CA kat polyclinic abeh lepas tu kene ciao gi kerje. Aihz... ni lah hidup seorang Haz. (:

.... That was awkward haha.

2009-06-14T20:53:00.002+08:00

Mood: Calm
Listening to: Moan - Cute is What We Aim For

Qn: OMGOMG HAHA GUESS WHAT I'M DOING NOOOW???
Ans: Gossiping about boys with the whole Famiglia (particularly, one in Hazel's Aussie life) 8D

It feels so good to be able to catch up on each other's lives, I feel like I'm gonna cry. ... Actually, no. I'm too busy just laughing and smiling. It's been so long since I feel so... happy. And we aren't even having philosophical debates; we're just talking about boys and love and how some guys are trashtrashtrash and marriage and lame jokes and being nuns and NOT being good nuns and parents and hips and-

Well, we did a lot of catching up. (:

__________________

Sometimes, I analyze myself and conclude that I need to grow up. I'm so childish and I lack real life goal and dreams. Currently, I've set a target for myself. I call it 'The Australian Dream"; I planned to get into a uni in Aussie and join Hazel there. Setting goals based on the spur of the moment and such has always worked for me but 'fess it, I'm not a kid anymore. I need to evaluate seriously every single consequence of my actions. I need to take initiative and start making my own decisions.

My whole life, I hated making decisions. I always know what I don't want to do but not what I want. It's like, I'm not even sure if I'll be happy with the decisions I made so why not let somebody else decide, and make that someone happy? As long as there's someone who's happy, I'll feel happy along with that person so all is well. Right?

Sometimes, I feel envious that other people feel happy and not me. Then I realised it's my decision and I try to convince myself that I'm okay. It's so much harder though.

I sometimes wonder if anyone ever got honestly irritated at my indecisiveness.

___________________

I had a talk with my sister-in-law just now about guys and I realised that I probably missed out a whole lotta good guys in my life. And then I start wondering why don't I feel more concerned? I mean, I wish for all those girlish crap girls do: to be happily married, have children, have a loving husband who I don't mind slaving over cookbooks and preparing dinner for. So why do I not feel anxious that I may be left on the shelf?

In a way, I kind of think I don't deserve to be happy. Someone like me can never make anyone happy. So.. karma right? It's just deserving of me to not be happy then.

In a way, I'm no better than a piece of furniture. Let me be used. Let me please then. It'll make me feel that I'm worth something.

___________________

OKAY GUYS. BIG QUESTION. MANE AND TAIL, OR LOREAL ELSEVE? THE FATE OF MY HAIR DEPENDS ON YOU GUYS.

___________________

God. I'm one unstable mofo. All this was churned out in one go. o_o

2009-06-11T20:58:00.011+08:00

Mood: Loved
Listening to: Smooth Criminal - Alien Ant Farm

Today, Sarah sweetie actually dropped by my workplace just as I was finishing just so we could spend some time together.

I feel so utterly touched. Though I'm always up to stupid shit and worrying her, she has never once given up on me. She cares for me when I don't care about myself. My moral compass, my petite cherie. You mean so much to me. Really. Sometimes, I wonder what I've done to deserve such a friend like you.

We went to MacDonald after that because yours truly had a craving for dessert. I bought myself a McFlurry and a iced milo for Sarah. And would you believe that Sarah just totally dripped a good deal of the drink on herself as soon as she grabbed the cup? I couldn't stop laughing really. And then the cashier dude offered her tissues. Oh god, so nice of him. Sarah was gushing about his chivalry. (:

??: ! Ah, are you okay? *hands some tissues*
Me: *laughing a bit* Saraaaah~ Go wash it off before it sticks.
??: There's a sink over there - at the top of the stairs.
Sarah: OKAY. O: *skips up stairs*

So I was there, awkwardly handling my change, ice cream and milo all in one and the guy started talking to me.

??: So... name?
Me: Hmm? My friend?
??: *laughs* No, I mean you.
Me: EH ME? *insert Mihashi face* Uh uhm. Hazrina.
??: Haz... rina?
Me: Yeah.
??: *grins and shows his nametag: Hazli*
Me: That makes us two Hazs then! *grins back*

And then Sarah returned and as I was going to leave, he actually kinda leaned out of the counter and tried to continue the convo.

Hazli: Going home now?
Me: //HAHA NO DUH.// Yeah. Poor you, have to work.
Hazli: *smiles* It's okay really.
Me: Well, work hard! (:

Sarah kept teasing me afterwards haha. She said that I look different nowadays. Mahathir (our Brands supplier) said the same too. When he came to the store and noticed me, he seemed really distracted. Said I look all different without my glasses (I broke them OTL) and Evelyn had to call him twice to get his attention.

It makes me quite happy to know that I'm looking better (coz admit it dudes, I used to be all ugly duckling) but at the same time, it makes me feel sad. That people actually just looks at your exterior and not who you really are. Like me and Dawn like soooo didn't like Paul Twohill and when we saw him, we kinda made gagging faces. Until one day, she said, "What if he wasn't really like what he is on TV? Like that's just his media personality and he's a totally different, likeable person inside?". And that really got me thinking. The inside counts too.

I'm still trying to figure out my insides.

PS. SHANG'S BDAY CELEBRATION TMR. EXCITED DESU. AND AAAH I WANT TO GUSH ABOUT THE GUEST LIST BUT SARAH IS MAKING US SWEAR TO KEEP IT A SEKRIT. PLS REPLY BB.

2009-06-08T23:27:00.006+08:00

m.Mood: High
Listening to: Insomnia - Craig David

Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
I HAVE TO SLEEP SOON
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:
GOT A BIT OF HEADACHE LOOOOOOOOOL
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
WHICH SIDE
SRSLY TELL ME I GOT ONE METHOD TO CURE IT
Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
OKAY
RIGHT SIDE
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
OKAY
YOUR LEFT HAND RIGHT
Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
YAR
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
YOU KNOW THAT SPACE IN BETWEEN YOUR THUMB AND INDEX FINGER?
Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
YES....
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
MASSAGE THERE
SRSLY
THERE ARE NERVES CONNECTED AND SHIT
Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
OKAY, HOW LIKE
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
BE CAREFUL THOUGH IT WOULD HURT
Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
CIRCULAR?
RUB RUB?
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
PULL IT UP AND DOWN
AND RUB
........... FUCK
Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
JUST S-SHUT UP
I HOPE YOU LAUGH THAT HEADACHE WORSE D:

Why issit that whenever Hazel and I talk, we end up getting incredibly high?

Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
AUGHH
OTL
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
ARE YOU IN LABOUR

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
TRYING TO BE CUTE
BUT FAILING
GAILING SO BAD
...... *FAILING

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
COZ HE HAS A FRICKIN LARGE VOCAB,
AND THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE A EUPHEMISM FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH SUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
5 YEARS LATER, I'LL BE ... STARTING ON MY MASTERS I THINK OTL
I DON'T WANNA DO MASTERSSSSSSSSSS TAT
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta says:
DO I HAVE TO CALL YOU MASTER HAZEL
BE THANKFUL YOUR NAME ISN'T BATE
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Bathos | Bicycle Blitzkrieg | says:
SJDHJHASDJHOQWIEIQWUE
HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Yeah. Incredibly high.

Edit: DAMN. I said the F-word today. D: ... Oh well, better luck tomorrow. (;

2009-06-05T18:58:00.003+08:00

Mood: Anxious

In a span of less than 12 hours, I feel like my life is fu- messed up. I'm trying to stop cursing. Trying.

These days, I've been hanging out with Wahwah a lot. Like I keep saying, I feel protective of her. She found it a bit difficult to do her work (her English isn't that good) so I offered to help her. For the past two days, we hung out together as I guided her through her CNP. Unbeknownst to me, it appeared as though I was abandoning/ignoring Dawn. And this is so not my intention. I mean, she wanted to hang out with Jive, JJ, Marie and though I am able to get along with them, I still feel like I would be intruding on their together time. Me being a lamp post and all. So that's why I thought it'd be fine to leave her alone with them. Plus, we get to see each other during lecture time, right?

However, after my last lecture, as I was going out of the theater, she came up to me and thrusted ten bucks into my hand. For the uninformed, she owed me $7 for a mag and some smokes last time so I had earlier asked if she could return it anytime soon coz I was getting dry on cash (bleddy fu- hell. my pay still isn't in.) It wasn't that I was demanding the money; I just wanted to remind her about it.

But anyways, she went like "Your boyfriend complained about me. Keep the change. It's for me using your phone." before storming off. She uses my phone to contact people a lot since her phone is unable to make calls and sometimes for smsing too when her prepaid is finished. I didn't really mind. Much. Anyways, it wasn't a big deal. I mean, I top up my card every month when I get my pay so what's a few calls and smses to me eh? Anyways, it was to help a friend so I definitely didn't care.

But anyways, she was really furious. How did I know? Why, she called me up while I was in the bus home to tell me about it. Saying how people are ignoring her because of this vicious rumour that she is a bad influence on me and how she takes advantage of me by using my phone all that. I told her that I didn't care about those rumours because they were untruths but she just ranted at me, saying it doesn't matter if I don't think so because other people out there believe it. And when I asked her how I can help her, she went all "I am just telling you this so that you'd be aware of things. It's not like I want you to do anything."

God, life is so messed up.

2009-06-05T09:42:00.007+08:00

Mood: Melancholy
Listening to: Franz Ferdinand - Take me Out

I used to have a Sony Ericsson phone with a spoiled charger part. As such, I could never have uploaded the phone's contents (be it pictures or recordings) to my computer. I had to go through the long route - bluetooth to my brother's phone and then upload it via usb, bla bla. I had to do that up until yesterday. When I realised that my new phone (okay, it's a not-so-new new old phone - dad's hand-me-downs to me) could directly upload my pictures via usb.

Way to go, Haz! (:

... Okay, enough of me feeling stupid. I'm just gonna share some pictures here. Of new friends and old.

Me and Wahwah in our nurse uniforms! ~~God, I am so buying a dress.~~

Wahwah is so cute right! I treat her as a younger sister. Though she's actually older. She's TWENTY. Gah, talk about aging gracefully. And here I have people asking me if I'm married. ;^;

Dawn, me and Adi!

Dawn is like... the ruthless, psycho bitch from hell. I mean, I can be bitchy sometimes but my bitchiness is more like me just being frank and blunt. She on the other hand, will attack you till your balls drop. If you take her words with a pinch of salt, it could all be treated as quite funny. Still, she's a good friend of mine. (:

Adi. Is like, super SUPER cute. She was the first friend ever I made in poly and I am so glad we're pals. And you know how I go around calling people terms of endearment (eg. sayang, babycakes, sweetums, sugar pie princess, etc)? She actually squirms in her seat and give this half-embarrassed, half-shy giggle and say it makes her ticklish. And then I'll scratch her head lightly where her fringe starts. Like a cat. OH GOD SHE IS JUST SO CUTE. And for someone who doesn't like to take photos (see my hand dragging her in?), she sure is photogenic. So cute!! :D

~~If you don't know who we are, you should be shot.~~ Sarah, me and Shang!

We're like 3/4 of the Famiglia. Another one is frolicking in the sandy beaches of Australia, ~~trying to get a new angmoh waifu~~. We've been friends for a couple of years and though we do sometimes find faults in one another, I can honestly say that they are the best friends that I will ever make in my life. And I treasure them lots and I miss them tons. Sometimes, I'll look around the poly thinking, "It'd be so awesome if they were here. We could be doing -insert random activity here-." It was saddening that we all went our separate ways but I'm glad that we even met in the first place. You all are that awesome.

... Okay. I'm gonna be late for class again. OTL

2009-06-04T13:29:00.004+08:00

Mood: Sad
Listening to: OMFG ANNOYING DRILLING SOUND - Convent Hall sitting area

To feel friendless is an awful feeling.

Once again, here I am in school with Wahwah at my number one fave spot - the benches outside the convention center. I really like this place. For some reason, there's often not many people here. And I guess it's the colors of this place. It's kinda cooling.. Green, blue, you know? Yeah.

Okay, I'm not making sense here. Feeling a little disoriented now.

If I had a supernatural ability, I wish that I can turn back time. I wanna turn back time to before Friday. I missed what I had with C and even though I'm not really sure I love him, I care for him very, very deeply and how we are like now hurts me. A lot.

I wished I can turn back time to before polytechnic. I missed my friends and I regretted working coz I missed out hanging out with everyone. All the small, stupid things we used to do together feels so valuable now. I missed how we're all like '"Eh after school don't want go home leh.', 'Okay, go Clarke Quay.', 'HELL YES'. I wished we can hang out again but some of you don't even want to associate yourself with me after what I've become so that's a no-go.

Oh god. I'm getting depressed. Better leave for class now. *sighs*

... My post are all emo.

2009-06-04T00:25:00.004+08:00

Mood: Sleepy

It's funny that I have such a long contact list in my handphone but there's not many people I can talk to.

...Enough talking. I should be studying. And yes, it is 12.44AM now. Working doesn't give you much time to yourself.

*sighs*

2009-06-02T12:58:00.003+08:00

Mood: Numb
Listening to: ... Nothing.

I'm currently in school now. And boy, sure feels weird to be updating here. /:

So I'm like right in front of the bookshop, using Wahwah's laptop (she is such a sweet girl really. makes me feel all protective over her~) and I have no idea what to do so I'm at my blog. Typing. Random stuff.

All of a sudden, I kinda missed the old Hazrina. The old Hazrina was a ~~batshit crazy~~ low-profile kinda girl. Now, people who I don't even know knows me. And it disturbs me. And frightens me. I feel conscious of every thing I do and though I act normal, I certainly feel that something is different.

I am a person who hates awkward situations. I'm hating now.

I wish I wasn't working coz that I'd have more freedom and no pressure to help people. I wish I wasn't so effing weak-willed and kind-hearted so people wouldn't take advantage of me. I wish I was more assertive so I actually do something about people taking advantage of me instead of just letting them be. I wish that I wasn't really what I am.

I feel sad.

2009-05-31T23:10:00.003+08:00

Mood: Content
Listening to: My brother playing F.E.A.R 2

ONE WORD: SENTOSAISADAMNBITCHINGSHIOKPLACETOGOIMISSEDITSOMUCHYAY.

...What. One word what. ;D

So yeah. Today was Dawn's early-mini-birthday-celebration at Sentosa. Initially, I was reluctant to go because (a) I look damn fuck in shorts. (My legs are like vampires. They were screaming when they saw the sun.) and (b) a bit... lazy sia haha. But then Jive like pangseh her so I felt bad for her. ... When do I not feel bad for people? ... That's beside the point. So yeah, I went.

The guest list was shortened due to incredible amounts of people following the pangseh trend so in the end, it was me, Dawn, V, JJ and Zhi. Initially, I felt awkward that they were all guys and I only knew Dawn. I had to go freak out at Sarah on the phone (Love you babe ;D) to calm my nerves. But we had fun. They were really nice people to hang out with!

Swim, swim. Damn fun. Until V went all asshole and dumped sand on my head. ON MY HEAD OKAY. I had a helluva time trying to get it out afterwards. But V is kinda funny. Like he went all "Hi, I'm V and I'm gay." on me and everytime we see a guy he'd be all "HMM. Not old enough. I like my man hot and mature okay. Does your dad have a big dick?". Crude, but fun. For srs. XD

And then I pangseh my workplace go Bugis with Zhi and JJ afterwards because they begged me to. ... I take it back, they're not nice people. Jk! XD We went to the arcade where JJ showed off his leet skillz. Sia lah, pity the guy who played against him man. We also went to watch Terminator and GOD IT WAS SO LOUD. I tell you tomorrow I sure die; cannot hear properly when I do my practicals. OTL Didn't reached home too late coz Zhi was sweet enough to let me hitch a ride on his cab back home. :D

Haha, and another funny thing that happened was that this guy tried to chat me up. And he talked to me in MALAY. Like shit man, even Zhi and V thought I was Chinese when we first met. A few hours in Sentosa bakes you up like whoa!

I've been feeling a little down lately (especially because of certain events) but today kinda cheered me up. Sentosa, you're like one of my fave places to go now. :3

OT: FFFFFFF- My bank account less than $30 sia. DDD:

2009-05-30T09:53:00.003+08:00

Mood: Blank
Listening to: The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

Every single day, I wake up and I ask myself: Did whatever I think happened yesterday actually happened?

Sounds like I'm a bit of a drunk haha.

Will blog when I get back from work at night.

2009-05-29T23:39:00.001+08:00

It fucking hurts like you wouldn't believe.

2009-05-29T21:38:00.002+08:00

Mood: Frustrated
Listening to: Attack - 30 Seconds To Mars

Song is related to my mood.

I really, really love my friends. I keep reiterating this in my blog. If you're my friend, you get like some sort of eternal protection from me. And the enemy of my friend is ~~a motherfucker~~ my enemy.

... Okay, nevermind. I had to let that out somewhat. I'm just feeling a little moody. BRB in 15 minutes, gonna go change my mood. (:

2009-05-25T22:59:00.003+08:00

Mood: Awake
Listening to: America's Next Top Model

I'M WATCHING ANTM. OH GOD DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE I CAN WATCH IT. MON DIEU I'M ACTUALLY HOME EARLY ENOUGH TO WATCH IT. AAAAAH OH GOD I MISS THIS SO MUUUUCH-

*coughs*

Marjorie has Sakaeguchi-hair! AND SHE IS SO CUTE. SHE'S LIKE A MIHASHI DAMMIT. <3

*coughs some more*

Okay, it's 11 o'clock and I'm like soooo awake. I want to talk talk talk but I have no no no idea what to talk about... OH. OH YEAH. LISTEN TO THIS GAIZ:

Teacher: Has anyone watched "Angels and Demons"?
Student: I hate it!
Teacher: Why?
Student: Cannot understand.
Teacher: Well, it IS rather hard on the brain.

I FUCKIN' LOL. I TRIED TO KEEP IT IN BUT AHAHAHAHA. MR RASHID YOU ASS. WRY SO AWESOME CAN.

And I need to get a jacket like, BURNING. I pity J that he has to sacrifice his jacket repeatedly for me but then again, when I think how he's NOT cold in just SHORTS, it makes the pity evaporate. D:

... Okay. I got nothing else to say. Ur urrr...

OKAY UM UM. I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU SARAH. YOU'VE DONE SO MUCH FOR ME. I'll like so give you my like middle finger if you needed it. And you know how much I need it. :D

AND HAZEL. I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU. A LOT. OH BB WE NEED TO GO DO SOEM STUPID RANDOM SHIT TOGETHER AGAIN.

... THAT MISPELLING ON 'SOME' IS ON PURPES.

... I'm gonna go offline now to stop myself from making less sense.

2009-05-24T00:15:00.003+08:00

Mood: Exhausted
Listening to: Fly Me to the Moon Version 2009 - Evangelion

It's 12:17am right now and I just had my dinner. That's right. Dinner.

Mom and Dad went to pick me up after work and we went to Mustafa to shop for some kitchen stuff. I don't know about you guys but family affairs such as these are painful for me. We're not the type of family that go out on Sundays to bond or have mealtimes together, just so you know. So when Dad gets the brilliant idea to do a "family thing", it usually ends up horrific. Today was no exception. OTL

Anyways, work was tiring today. Another promotion update so I spent the day writing "2 for ___" repetitively. Also, we have a new staff at work and we spent quite a bit gossiping lol.

... And I'm getting fired by the way.

I don't hold Rose responsible. I kinda expected this was coming. I mean, I can barely cover my minimum work hours of 25 hours a week. So here I am, soon-to-be-jobless. I've been trying to find another job for myself, preferably a night job or a weekend one. Mom and Dad have pretty much accustomed themselves to me supporting myself so I think it's best if I continued working. I'll lessen the financial strain on the family at least.

That's all for my mini-update today. I still have work tomorrow morning so I'm off to bed. I have a feeling that one day, I'm just gonna collapse somewhere. I pray it won't be somewhere uncool like at a public toilet or something haha.

Edit: I've been checking for job opportunities online and... are those jobs for "young, attractive and outspoken girls" with a pay of "$200 - $1,200 per hour" what I think they are?

2009-05-22T21:05:00.004+08:00

Mood: Tired
Listening to: Hollywood - Cute is What We Aim For

The way we're living makes no sense;
Take me back to the age of innocence.

~ Hollywood - Cute is What We Aim For

So many things are happening in a short period of time. It tires me.

These days, I keep asking myself "What is love really?". Correction: I know what love is. But I don't know what being in love is. I love my friends, each and every one of them. I would do almost anything for them. If they're happy, I'll glee with them. If they're upset, I'd want to punch the causes' teeth inwards. I'd laugh with them. I'd smile effortlessly around them. I look for them when they're not by my side and wish that they were. I love them through and through.

So what's the difference between loving and being in love?

I'm not sure if I have ever been in love before. Sure, I've looked at guys and there has been instances when I feel a bit more than the usual 'Oh-look-a-person-of-the-opposite-gender-ho-hum-nothing-much-to-care-for'. But I don't think that constitutes as love.

In a way, I do want to be in love. I want to worry myself sick for someone. I wanna yearn to look at someone even though we just spoke in the last 5 minutes. I wanna playback all our conversations and interactions in my head when I'm alone at night staring up at the ceiling from my bed. I want to be able to smile just by hearing that person's name. I want this all. Or I think I do.

Sometimes, I kind of wished that I have an arranged marriage. I wouldn't have to decide on anything. I'm a person who pretty much hates making decisions.

When I see people who love each other, I feel so envious. They found their missing jigsaw piece.

I'm not really searching for mine.

2009-05-19T22:37:00.003+08:00

Mood: Giggly
Listening: Dj Ozma - アゲ♂アゲ♂EVERY☆騎士

Dear Hazrina,

I was gonna have a heart-to-heart talk with you but it seems that you are mightily distracted by a gay-looking faggot dancing and shaking it like woah. Nevertheless, I shall still attempt to be serious.

So far, your pursuit of knowledge in polytechnic has been a... struggle of sorts. But feel proud, for I feel that you are able to overcome this all. As Dr Thomas said, you will discover what you really are inside and that's what I think you're coming to.

Try to correct the wrongs that you've done. ...Actually, your wrong is that you DON'T do anything. Well, time to get off that ~~cute~~ ass of yours and set things straight. Be professional. Be brave.

As for your education, I suggest putting it at the highest priority. You are NOT stupid. Just lazy. And lucky. So make good of your talents to propel yourself to the top. You're not gonna waste your time on the mundane. Nuh-uh, sister.

You've done some stupid shit too, in the short time where you were coming to realization. Try not to do it too often please. You worry me.

Also, your hands smell of sin. Which disturbs you to no end. I know because you'll have this funny look on your face when you're resting your head on your hand. I suggest you go buy yourself a bottle of hand sanitizer. And perfume. Lots of it.

Yours truly,
Hazrina

PS. Isn't it nice to address yourself this way? It feels more... honest somehow. Though I suggest not searching for crack songs on youtube prior to this self-addressing.

2009-05-17T21:14:00.006+08:00

Mood: Pensive
Listening to: Get Clean - Anarchy Club

To A:

I'm so sorry if I've been so distant lately. It just feels like things have been awkward between us. I get the feeling that you're angry at me or something. I'm especially sorry about today, didn't mean to bail out. I'd explain but you probably think it's an excuse. So I'm just sorry.

To D:

YOU. Haha, don't know what to say about you. I really appreciate what you've done for me, not just today but for all the other days. You really made my days at school more bearable. And sorry for getting myself into all sorts of things and you having to lecture me. But I bet you like playing ~~barbie~~ babysitter lol.

To C:

I'm still confused. I'm happy. I'm worried. I'm scared. I'm... confused.

Also, haha. Get ready for tomorrow man.

To R:

Chin up! There will be a point in life when things will be shitty. No choice - suck it up and smile! You'll look better that way than with a scary RAWR frown at least haha.

And thanks for taking care of me all this while. I'll miss you.

To my two S(s):

I love you guys. I'd say more but it won't be enough to show what I feel for you both.

... That's all for now.

Edit: Remember yesterday.

2009-05-15T22:23:00.004+08:00

Mood: Groggy
Listening to: The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

... Buh. I don't feel very... stable now. Like my brain is a little disorganized.

... They call it 'dementia', haha.

+~+~+~+~++~+~+~+~+~+

I miss you all.

2009-05-12T23:21:00.002+08:00

Mood: Confused
Listening to: Sakuranbo - Ai Otsuka

So, Haz. Do you want a boyfriend?

2009-05-12T19:45:00.002+08:00

Mood: Listless
Listening to: Down with the Sickness - Disturbed

I'm studying. No really. I am.

... Okay, one chapter done! :D Time to talk about my favourite topic - ME. *bricked*

Um okay. I've more or less settled down in poly. It's been, what, 3 weeks? So shyeah. I'm doing fine. :D I mostly hang out with Adi (Who is like SUPER CUTE AND NICE. It makes me wanna bully her. Which I do.) and Dawn (Who is like SUPER BEETCHY. Like yours truly, haha.). Lately, I've been hanging out with another person but that's a different matter altogether.

If Dawn or Adi reads this, they'll be sniggering.

That aside, I'm coping (more or less) with homework. And I'll be working only on weekends so I have more time to study and update here.

... Yeah, I can't think of anything else. :P

2009-04-21T22:11:00.004+08:00

Mood: Disappointed
Listening to: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk

Someone needs to write a guide to what to do for your first day of school as an NP student. Like, wear clothes that won't show damp patches when wet. And wear comfortable shoes which are suited for mountain-climbing. Also, sneaking in snacks in class. And oh oh, how about this... GO FOR YOUR ORIENTATION?

My class has like mini-cliques already; it makes it a challenge to make friends. Sure, I made a friend already but as for the rest, we just talk as acquaintances. It's so depressing. You know what's even more depressing? That there's actually people going, "I'm in nursing because I have no choice."

It makes me angry somehow.

I have also signed myself up for the softball team and the drama sector of the Malay Cultural Club. Wao, ambitious much?

Three years. Oh god, this is torture.

2009-04-19T00:11:00.003+08:00

Mood: Exhausted
Listening to: Wesker rambling - My brother playing RE5

It's coming. IT'S COMING. You ask what and I'll tell you, sweetcheeks!

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

Mon dieu, I feel so utterly terrified. Paralysed with fear. The entire works, I tell ya. The whole "Will-I-make-friends-there" feeling coupled with the "Why-am-I-still-working" exhaustion. I feel absolutely certain that I will be completely miserable for the next 3 years.

To add to my insecurities, my dad has been being a tyrant and threatening me to throw me out of the house for just coming back half an hour late. Oh dieu.

Is there anyone going to NP? *hopeful*

2009-04-11T21:42:00.002+08:00

Mood: Giggly It's the song I tell you.
Listening to: Shawn Michael's Theme "Sexy Boy"

I was going to make a meaningful post until I heard this song and it's very hard to be coherent now.

HOWEVER, I'll try to make sense. I seldom do that nowadays, haha. Well, I'm heading off to Malacca and KL for the next three days. Dad's going for his usual medical treatment in Malaysia so me and mommy are gonna be accompanying him. I took a leave from work but I'll have to make up the hours next time. Mon dieu, I feel tired at the mere thought of it. *sighs*

... And as though to suit my mood, my player is changing to something more... less crazy. *coughsGoodOldFashionedLoverBoycoughs*

... I guess this post has no purpose except to explain my future absence. I'll see you all three days from now then, babycakes~! :D

2009-04-07T20:49:00.005+08:00

Mood: ~~Ecstatic~~ WHEEEE~~~ 8D
Listening to: Haydn's Piano Sonata No.59 in E flat major, Adagio E Cantabile

Like, I got my pay today~! 8D
... I think. Coz I lost my bank card and have no way to confirm it. But pfft, this is a minor problem. I am confident that my pay is already in my account and thus, had borrowed a few bucks from my brother to spend. And what did I buy?

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE DVD, BEETCHES! >D

Like seriously, I found it at Lot 1's Laserflair. How awesome is that? Like, totally awesome that's what. It was M-18 (I actually asked my brother to buy it for me. He gave me a weird look which made me go all, "Oh. I am 18.") and it was in all it's uncensored glory - I can even see like how saggy that Creole woman's boobs were. And I can see Lestat's buttons~! ... Didn't mean it to sound weird sorry. But anyways, I've watched the movie thrice today. Not consecutively, silly! I watched it the first time at around 5 in the afternoon. And then I watched it again just now but it rewind at the end so I ended up re-watching it. I was all "Okay, after this part... The next part then... OOH this is my favorite part! ... Ah feck, I'll just watch the whole thing again."

I am happy now. This seems like such a trivial thing to ~~all~~ most of you but it truly does make me feel happy. And I need all the happiness I can get coz I'm working full shift tomorrow. Will. Endure.

I made it through the day without a panadol! :D

Edit: HAZEL IS COMING BACK THIS FRIDAY.

2009-04-06T18:36:00.003+08:00

Mood: Content
Listening to: Still Alive - GlaDOS

Ooooh gooood I'm so wooozy it's like that time i slept in until and alarm clock ranged so loud and long and it worke me up my head hutr so baaaad then.

Oh wait, that was today.

I'm feeling great these days actually. Except for the headache but yeah. I'm proud to say I've been taking good care of myself. I eat at least 3 meals a day everyday and I take supplements too. There's my EPO, iron tablets, skincare tablets, cod fish syrup and lysine. Oh, also my daily panadol; it helps with the pain in my head. And I ate my first fruit of the year the other day~! : D

Also, I made a list of things to shop for when I get my pay tomorrow. I've decided to splurge a little - just a little - on M.A.C cosmetics. I needed a concealer so why not go for something I deserve? And perhaps a stuff toy to satisfy my inner child. As well as a new pair of shoes. How I love shopping. It makes me all giddy. And happy. The sight of an empty ~~bank book~~ wallet makes me cringe but it's okay ~~coz I have unsupervised control of my cards~~. I have accepted it as a part of life. 'Sides, it makes the next payday seem like a blessing. (:

And though tomorrow is my off day (so is today actually, haha), I'm required to work in the morning coz we're short-staffed. And my boss got like a heart attack the other day so yeah. Not that I mind; I like working nowadays. I like it so much that I'm considering stopping school to work. But it seems like such a foolish and rash decision. Wait, those two words mean the same right? Oh my my, my grasp of English is slipping. Get it? Grasp, slipping?

Okay, nevermind.

I'm thinking of taking up smoking for a stress-relieving hobby (coz I don't think it's healthy to coop myself up in my room reading till my head spins ~~hypocritical much haha~~) but I don't like harming my body. So I've taken to sniffing medicated ointments and sketching. I tried movie-marathoning at first but that just made me feel... horrible because the movies all suck. I regret watching Queen of the Damned.

My mother is being noisy again. It's making my ~~hurt head~~ head hurt.

I like blogging. It's nice to type. *random*

2009-03-27T16:06:00.008+08:00

Mood: Weird
Listening to: I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred Oh god someone anyone please give me another song to listen to.

It's my off day today and for once, I wished it wasn't.

These days, I have been very... weird, to say the least. I'm always staring off. You might say I'm unfocused. I'd be in the shop and Rose will tell me to clean up the gondola and after nodding and dragging down a pail of water from the storage floor, I'll be going up to her and asking what it was she wanted me to do again.

Or I'll be in the bus, just listening to my Lestat the Musical soundtrack while staring out the window, going "Oh look, a tree. Oh look, a red car. Oh look, Funan the IT Mall. Oh look- WAIT THAT WAS MY STOP."

I can't put my finger on it but something seems to be out of place with me. My appetite is going haywire; sometimes practically non-existent while at other times, unsatisfiable . I get... mood swings, as one would call it. I'm always gazing distantly at something. ALWAYS. And I've been told twice that I'm pale. This is not healthy.

My colleagues came up with the explanation that I am in love, and my brain could not function normally because of my uncontrolled emotions. Sounds plausible and all but the thing is that I'm not in love. Unless you're refering to my fondness of splurging but some would call that an uncontrollable obsession with shopping.

This morning, I woke up to have a shower and breakfast (a bowl of noodle soup and some fried rice with egg) before plopping down on my bed to read Memnoch the Devil. I gave up after two chapters despite the rather interesting storyline. Here, let me read it out to you:

"I'm going to stay with you," he said. "Do you have any rooms here?"
"Nothing proper. Find something for us. Find it close to... close to the cathedral."
"Why?"
"Well, David, you should know why. If the Devil starts chasing me down Fifth Avenue, I'll just run into St. Patrick's and run to the High Altar and fall on my knees before the Blessed Sacrement and beg God to forgive me, not to sink me into the river of fire up to my eyes."
"You are on the verge of being truly mad."
"No, not at all. Look at me. I can tie my shoelaces. See? And my tie. Takes some care, you know, to get it all around your neck and into your shirt and so forth, and not to look like a lunatic with a big scarf around your neck. I'm together, as mortals so bluntly state it. Can you find us some rooms?"

I will stop here for fear of boring you but let me just say that this exchange has yet to fail in making me amused.

Lost on what to do next, I took out my box of facial masks and proceeded to cleanse my face with a self-sauna mask. And after that, I drummed and stretched my vocal chords on Rockband, only to realise that I wasn't having any fun so damn the game, I switched it off and switched on the computer.

Only to realise that there was nothing that I wanted to use the computer for. Nobody who I really wanted to chat to. I wasn't in the mood to prowl livejournal communities pertaining to my interests and all those random activities that would keep me attached to the computer for hours. I contemplated watching a movie but my heart's not really into it.

Oh god, it's hot. Let me switch on the fan. Ah, that's better. No one's at home to screech at me for my wastage of precious electricity, just so you know.

Where was I? Yes, yes, I have no idea what to do with the remaining 5 hours of today before I tuck myself in for an early sleep. I suppose I could go to sleep now but mon dieu, what would I do in the wee hours of the day then!

Oh god, shut up. Have you lost your mind, woman! Stop ranting. Ranting is not going to do anything about it. In fact, nothing seems to be effectiv- JUST SHUT UP, HAZRINA.

2009-03-24T20:57:00.011+08:00

Mood: High
Listening to: I'm too sexy - Right Said Fred

I'M TOO SEXY FOR MILAN, NEW YORK AND JAPAA~AN.

Why is it that these days I'm either high as the clouds or moody like a suicidal hobo?

2009-03-23T20:35:00.003+08:00

Mood: Dorky
Listening to: Barbie Girl - Aqua

HEEEEEY. I LOOK LIKE ARMAND[1] NOW. 8D

[1]: For those of you non-'vampire chronicles' fans, go google up Anne Rice's vampire Armand.

2009-03-22T00:20:00.006+08:00

Mood: Discontent
Listening to: I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred Such contrast with my mood seriously.

I don't really feel very... good these days. I spend a lot of time thinking about things too seriously. I have been told that I'm a bit too much of a realist; I should do something about this.

Today was my off-day and I slept in like woah. I actually woke at 7 in the morning and after brushing my teeth and having a cup of black tea, I went back to sleep.

I had the strangest dream.

I was a student in this school. And apparently I was a bully - one of many there, might I add. I would do with my targets in the most cruellest manner; I would befriend them before I would beat them or steal their belongings. I'd rip their books, verbally abuse them. Vicious things such as that. There was no reason for it. It just seemed... like something to do. But I was one of the more tame bullies. There was no camaraderie between us fellow bullies, just so you know. I myself would often get into brawls with them. But there was this one boy. I couldn't really remember his name, only that it started with 'Z'. I made him my new victim, but I can't help but feel that he was the one toying with me. He would be the cause of my problems somehow and I'd be thinking of him desperately. It drove me to madness. And he would be there, getting me out of whatever he had happened to land myself in. But I feel no malice from him, just love. I don't really know what I felt towards him, just that I was uneasy when we didn't meet for long periods of time, pleased when he looks at only me, protective when I would wrap my arms over him and thrilled when I stroke his hair as though it was a cat's coat. I would seek him out during class (I played truant often apparently.) and get myself into a tizzy searching for him.

He would also often get himself into trouble, though whether on purpose or not I do not know. I suspect that he did it intentionally, just to see me break down. He got himself trapped in a locked-up, haunted classroom before and I remember crying and dragging a teacher there to knock down the door. He was smart; he got several other students locked inside to make it seemed like an accident and not some scheme of his. And when the doors were smashed, I ran inside a classroom filled with many pale, little children just staring at me. Ghosts they were, perhaps. I don't know, just that no one else seemed to be able to see them. I was so terrified that I started to shake but he just held me and told me he was alright.

This Zain, or Zahir or whatever his name is.. He's not the ideal picture of a girl's prince charming but I... I guess I really liked him.

I woke up to my phone ringing. Sarah was calling me to go down for this Hetalia team outing, which I did. I was supposed to go clothes shopping later on with my brother and sister but I was too exhausted for it. I spent the rest of the day reading Queen of the Damned.

Well, what a good waste of an off-day.

2009-03-14T22:43:00.014+08:00

Mood: Calm
Listening to: Crimson Kiss - Lestat the musical @ San Francisco

First off...

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY, ODA. YOU'RE THE BEST ~~SCARY~~ ~~TSUNDERE~~ DADDY EVER.

As it was my off day on the eve of his birthday, I spent the day baking a cake~ It was my virgin cake-baking experience but I think I managed to pull it off. 8D

And I think Oda was quite touched I went through all the trouble for him haha. He was all like "So troublesome. L: " ~~What a tsundere.~~

So yeah, hope he has another good year up ahead! : D

That aside, Sarah, Shang and I went out the other day to Orchard! Sarah left a little earlier so it was just me and Shang later though. AND GUESS WHAT.

WE MET STEVEN LIM

SRSLY. AND HE ASKED ME AND SHANG TO BE HIS MODELS HAHA WTF. I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP. I KINDA DIED AT THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE LOLOLOL. But after declining his 'too-good-to-be-true' offer, we went to the arcade at Dhoby Ghout. I never really did see the point of going to arcades when you have tons of consoles at home but. SILENT HILL. IS SO MUCH FUN. *squee*

We played Para and Taiko Drum Master as well! And we were one of the few females there. How... awkward. >__>

Shang came over the other day too and we played Resident Evil 5 at my place. I think I'm gaming too much. OTL

Also, I am seriously Lestat-obsessed. My computer didn't accept Lestat as a word; it's underlined in red. ~~Well, it does now.~~

Okay, I should go and shower now before spending my off day reading Queen of the Damned. And going out with Sarah. And shop for clothes with Stalin- I mean, my brother. TA TA LOSERS. Yes, you know you are losers for even reading my blog haha.

I HAVE TOO MANY GUY CLOTHES. Y/Y?

2009-03-10T21:46:00.008+08:00

Mood: Sleepy
Listening to: My brother playing Fallout 3

Um lesse... Something worthy to update with... Oh~!

Remember I said that I went for my health check? It's a necessity for Health Science (Nursing) students. And boy...

IT HURT LIKE A BEETCH. D:

So it goes like this : the doctor poked the needle into my right arm twice. He didn't manage to draw any blood so he turned to my left arm, but to no avail. He then changed to a finer needle for the syringe, but my left arm still refused to cooperate. Thus, he turned back to the right arm but it still wouldn't give blood. He then changed to the most finest needle and into my right arm it went~! And the blood flowed, but it was oh-so-little. And mind you, he didn't just stick the needle in me. He shifted the bloody thing (not literally, not yet haha) around while it was still partially in me. He should have thanked the heavens that he was a nice, young man or I would have torn his hide to pieces.

Mm.. I spent my last 2 days rolling about with a bit of a fever while finishing up the Tale of the Body Thief. That, and watching Interview with the Vampire on Youtube. While Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise stayed true to the image that I had ingrained in my childhood mind, Antonio Banderas made me want to kill kittens. I mean, I love the guy but him as Armand? Oh god.

Also, Lestat is one hell of a sexy blood-sucker.

Look at that face and tell me you don't agree. Why yes Lestat, you are damn pretty.

...W-what. It's not wrong to think of a vampire as sexy right? Plus, he's like being acted out by Tom Cruise so it can't be helped. And why is my post today revolving around blood haha.

2009-03-09T00:01:00.005+08:00

Mood: Blank
Listening to: The computer's fan

It's now 1am. 9th March.

.... *~*OFF DAY*~* MFYYYYYY! 8D

Still, I pretty much already have a plan today haha. Typical of me, to make myself busy on my free day lol.

In chronological order:
- Go jogging with mommy
- Go for health check
- Clear library fines
- Pay internet bill
- Shop for shoes/jacket (vvv not impt. sadly. orz)
- Work on katana
- Try to work my way around facebook. Again.
- Read 'The Tale of the Body Thief'

And then I'll complain that I'm tired and all that. I should really relax once in a while lol.

ALSO. I THINK I SMILE INSINCERELY. SRSLY. I glanced at the mirror at the till and noticed that the smile I usually give my customers look something like --> :]

Like, I would just thin my lips and slightly curve the corners of my mouth. And this look borders dangerously between a forced smile and a smirk. Which is quite beeyotch-y.

AND JUST NOW, on my way back home from work, something like, utterly shitty happened. There was this Indian lady behind me when I was going up the escalator and she called out to me. When I turned around, she asked me to carry her bag for her. SRSLY. NOT SHITTING YOU. I WAS SO STUNNED THAT I HELD ON TO THE BAG WITH A (0_0) -FACE. DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR PERSONAL MAID MA'AM? I have however, been mistaken as a Spotlight salesperson while wandering around there after work. orz Her sin however, was not making me into a servant of sorts, but she. Called. Me. AUNTIE. Like, FFFFF- you're ancient compared to me hag.

... I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO BLOG ABOUT. Also, dad came by the door and went all "I'll make it a black out if you don't go to sleep.". And we all know how Oda's word is law so fffff- going to sleep now ttylkthxbye.

2009-03-05T11:29:00.003+08:00

Mood: Hurhurhur..
Listening to: When You Were Young - The Killers

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy
To save you from your old ways

-When You Were Young

... I like this song. *hums*

Haha, it's been a long time since I posted something. I meant to give a lengthy update but I got carried away reading Anne Rice's Interview With The Vampire (totally justified, coz Lestat and Armand are hot and pitiful blokes ~~noIdidn'tcried~~) so it's time for another one of my condensed posts~! 8D

As per usual, I shall only update with things I deemed worthy to mention. *lazypeas*

*~*11th February, Wednesday*~*

My original plans was screwed up a bit so I was quite free for the whole morning. Met up with a friend at CCK MRT where we took a bus to Orchard. This is like the umpteenth time I've been to Orchard this year but there isn't really much to do in small Singapore. OTL Went to grab a bite and I got my present from him, this really fancy looking mirror that we saw at Bugis the other day! So utterly pretty~! And you can slot a picture in the top mirror! *lovesloves it*

And for a lack of better things to do, we walked all the way to Clarke Quay after that, lol. There was also this guy who asked us for the kiblat (direction to face when performing prayers) at Takashimaya. That's right - the kiblat in a shopping center district. After directing him to the mosque nearby, we continued walking only to have the sky wrenched it's clouds dry on us. Thank god I had an umbrella but we were still drenched. OTL

And another thing that I've learnt is that it pays to be shameless. Initially, my friend wanted to get this butterfly pendent for me that we saw at Bugis but the bloody sod manning the cart stall had it sold off already. And sacre bleu, we saw it at Clarke Quay! At the cart stalls near the clubs by the Singapore river! The owner was a really funny guy, haha. Our exchange went something like this...

Me: Excuse me, how much is this?
Guy: Twenty-two dollars.
Me: //WTF. The one at Bugis was $25.//
Friend: You wanna get it?
Me: I'm not so sure... But I really like it...
Guy: *took down the pendent* Thank you~!
Me: O_O //Is he being sarcastic or something?// Um...
Guy: Okay, okay. How about $18?
Me: !! ... $18... The one we saw at Bugis was $25...
Guy: Bugis Junction right? That's another one of my store.
Me: !!! Okay... o_o Mm... $18 is a good price but... Price cannot be lowered any more? It's my birthday today...
Guy: Okay lah. Fifteen dollars.

IT PAYS TO BE A SHAMELESS PLUG. >8D

*~*13th February, Friday*~*

Friday the thirteenth stayed true to its name. There was this creepy guy who followed me around in NTUC during my work break and he tried to exchange numbers and was all leery. When I told him I didn't have a handphone, he told me to ask him out one day and we can go shopping for one together. I dumped his number afterwards. I didn't like him. D:

*~*28th February, Saturday*~*

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY PAYDAY DAMMIT.
HQ didn't receive the part-timers' work hours so no pay for us. Yet. BUT STILL. D<

*~*02nd March Monday*~*

WORKED FROM 8AM TO 11PM FFFFF-
STOCK-TAKE IS A HATEFUL BEETCH.

*~*04th March, Wednesday*~*

Which is yesterday~! One of the rare occasions when I decide to look good working so I applied make up haha. And there was this Malay guy with two friends and two little kids looking at hair dyes while I was doing stock-receiving nearby. It went something like this..

Little kids: *doing what little kids do best, making noise*
M.Guy: [in malay] Don't be so noisy, wait you'll disturb that sister.
Me: *ignores coz oh god SIX toteboxes to go through OTL*
Little boy: EH THIS HAIR DYE IS GOOD IT IS IT IS.
M.Guy: Eleh, this little kid like real liddat. As if he's the one who's gonna dye his hair.
Me: *snorts with laughter*
M.Guy: Hmm? *notices me*
Me: *bites lip to stiffle smile*
M.Guy: Eh.. *motions to the kid* This sister like knows what we're talking about...
Me: *pretends to be engrossed in papers*
M.Guy: CHEE CHONG FUN CHEE CHONG FUN.

I totally started grinning then. It was either that, or laughing like a maniac.

He was out at the store waiting for me during closing time and we walked together to the MRT. We talked and he was kinda... a touchy-feely guy. But friendly enough, so I didn't mind much. Before you go "OMG WHORE ALERT." at me, I have to say that I've been feeling rather... lonely lately. Everyone went on their separate ways to their respective schools and everyday, work has been a monotonous routine for me. Though I don't complain coz I could be having it much worse, I sometime wish that things would be a little different. I feel so unhappy sometimes.

But like I said, I'm grateful for what I have so yeah. ...I don't really make much sense now coz I have to leave for work yet there is this pull towards finishing this post so I am just letting my thoughts flow through my fingers onto the keyboard and- ... Okay what was I talking about again? XD

So it's off to work now. I'll be having lunch later with the guy. We'll see how things go on from there. (:

2009-02-04T21:36:00.003+08:00

Mood: Pensive
Listening to: Creep - Radiohead

DELAYED UPDATE IS DELAYED. LAWL.
*bricked*

I keep meaning to update but it's always "Tomorrow, tomorrow."and tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes. D:

My days have been spent... *drumrolls* ... WORKING. OTL Oh god, I feel so deprived. The only time I can go out is after my work. While this has taken a toll on my body, I won't deny that it gives me a kinda thrill to be out there on the streets of Orchard/Bugis late at night. Everything looks so different in the dark. *__*

Also, for all those poly-people out there... I FEEL YOUR PAIN. No more $5 top-up for our ezlink cards. OTL It hasn't even been half a month and my initial top-up of $20 is now only $3+. *WALLET PAINS*

Pretty obvious that I got into a poly. XD Though my marks would make the average Singaporean student contemplate suicide, I am frigging ecstatic. ;D

To be honest, I have nothing of importance to be blogging today. Just thought that it'd be nice to update once in a while. Blogging is a nice way of keeping in touch with my friends, since we're all separating and stuff.

... I get kinda sad thinking about this. And wistful too. I am actually kinda envious of you people who have already started school. I sorta wished you guys had worked, so you would now value being able to go to school more.

........ I SOUND SO OLD. TTLY GEEZER PRZ. D:

Alright, alright. Gotta go back to what I was doing before this (making a katana out of cardboard) so I'll update when I can. Ja~!

2009-01-11T21:11:00.003+08:00

Mood: Nervous
Listening to: Electric Version - The New Pornographers

I don't really like my latest post to be all emo so here's an update, haha. Then don't do emo posts at all dammit! >0<

TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY. Oh god, what am I still doing drumming on Rockband.

WISH YOU GUYS ALL THE BEST.

Haha, I asked for an off day tomorrow so I can either partay the day away or cry like a loser in my room. Wise decision, y/y?

2009-01-08T00:11:00.004+08:00

Mood: Indifferent
Listening to: Heartbeat, Heartbreak - Shoji Meguro

Sometimes, I wish you were around. Other times, I wonder why I even thought like so.
It's 'other time' now.

I feel so cold. But it's okay.
I'll make use of this time to dislike you as much as I can.

Things used to be so different. Or maybe not.

I'm so tired of all this shit.

2009-01-05T11:36:00.008+08:00

Mood: ~~fadsfasd YEE~ESSS!~~ Accomplished
Listening to: Memories of You - Shoji Meguro

'Sup losers. I'M NOT DEAD.

... Okay um, I'll try to be orderly about this. Firstly, the reason I'm online~! My manager has been asked to reduce my working hours so this leaves me with more time to do... whatever the hell I want to, lol.

I think it's coz they end up paying me a lot. You know how part-timers are paid hourly while full-timers are paid a fixed rate regardless of working hours? Since I usually stay back so much, they prolly ended up paying me more than expected. Hurhurhur.

So these days, rather than my usual schedule of 10-14hours, my hours have been reduced to 7-10. This might sound rather much but it actually includes my travelling time of two hours per day. Why must I live so far. OTL

Like I said, there's a lot to blog about - but I usually forget as soon as I'm on the keyboard OTL - so I'll try to be orderly!

Also, check out the new moodtheme and song. Sweet eh? 8D

*~*Reply to taggers*~* (I don't want to flood my tagboard. D: )

Geelyn: Thanks for the sympathy dear D: Sometimes, crap happens. Hope you had a nicer day then me~!
Wani: Haha, thanks~! And wani (in Japanese) means ALLIGATOR. XD
Kit: OKAY. 8DDD Must hang out~!
Pls help: I'm sorry I couldn't help you. Why does this sound so cliche-movie-line-from-angsty-hero. I tried to do the survey for you but it seemed to be already closed. Also, a word of advice: Try tagging with your name. Putting "Pls help' makes you sound like you might be a possible virus, or a desperado. Possibly both. No offence! :)
Janice: That smell must be you. Tee hee, joke~! Thanks for checking back anyways. :D Hope you like the new update since it's SUPPEEER long. XD

*~*Prom*~*

I've been promising to blog about this but I will take the chicken's way out.

Someone spiked my drink so I ended up dancing the night away. I can't really recall what happened after that except that I enjoyed myself excessively. I woke up the next day with aching feet. Psst, one of the information provided above is a lie. Spot the not?

*~*Holiday*~*

I went to Thailand~! Okay to put it precisely, I went to Langkawi, then Hat Yai before finally going to KL and returning home. Tiring but quite awesome. I'm not so sure however, if it was worth working without any off-days just to make up for my abscence for 6 days.

Langkawi was frigging SCORCHING and no amount of SPF protection could save your skin. My sister-in-law was with us and it was her first time outside of singapore (JB does not really count) so we went to do all sorts of tourist-y stuff. Went to the underwater world (OVERCHARGING! It used to be RM17 and now it shot to RM28! D: ) and the cablecar (Long queue was long.).

AND I NEED TO SQUEE this is my blog so shut up I can squee here. My dad has a friend in Langkawi and every time we go there we meet up. Well, he has this adorable little boy called Zulkarnai and he gave me a flower. It was so sweet~!

At their farm :-
Me: *feels someone tugging on sleeve* Hmm? *turns around*
Nai-nai: *is holding out a yellow flower to me*
Me: ! Oh, is this for me? :)
Nai-nai: *nods and smiles shyly*
Me: Thank you! :DD
Nai-nai: *goes away blushing*

FASDFADSFAS UTTER CUTENESS. I totally melted. Guys don't really do these kinda small, sweet gestures these days. They should learn from him!

Also, he was wearing a sweater with the numbers 99 on it. Nai-nai, ninety-nine. Geddit? Geddit?? CUTE RIGHT? ... Oh god I'm such a pedo.

Thailand was less... tourist-y for us. Parents sealed themselves up in the hotel room while we youngsters prowled the streets. Didn't do much shopping but I did get this awesome pair of kickass 5+cm platforms (Will update with pictures soon coz I'm a show-off like that).

ALSO, I SAW A LADYBOY. HURHUR.

Shit, long post is long. ...Uh, just one more section then.

*~*Miscellaneous*~* (Why do I always end up choosing incredibly gay colors for the headings?)

Remeber how I said that the heat of Langkawi can pwn your skin? Well, my cheeks started peeling again (after it got all better too!!! D:) and my acne was acting up. And then I discovered the miracle - Himalaya. Not the mountain, you jackass. It's this brand of products which uses herbs and other healthy what-nots in their ingredients. Just two washes with their neem face wash and my skin has seen an obvious improvement. How obvious? Well, the huge zit on my forehead has been reduced to just a little dot. I highly recommend this product!

Am trying their acne-and-pimple cream too. The effect is not as fast as the neem wash but there's no side-effects. I'm willing to give this one time to prove itself. Anyways, this is better suited for me than Acneclear, NUteen and Clearasil (God, I hate this brand. It killed my skin. D< ) so for all you guys who have trouble finding the right cleanser, I say go for this. Also, Watsons is having a 10-50% discount on a lot of products and this happens to be one of them so trying it now would be damn economical! *Not really shameless advertising coz it's the truth*

Other things I have blown my cash on includes make up, USA Cosmode (*~*TOTALLY WORTH IT*~*), and a spanking Wacom Bamboo graphic tablet.

Yes, I love my pay. *flaunts*

*~*End of SUPPEEER long post of utter awesomeness*~*

2008-12-05T21:28:00.005+08:00

Mood: Morose
Listening to: I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage

I'm kinda... pissy today, haha. I know it's not really good to be posting all "RAWR RAAANT." after not updating for quite some time but I've had a really horrible day and I can't help it.

(To put it simply) Horrible occurrences of the day:

#1: Stomache. Real horrid one too. I was late leaving the house for work because of it.
#2: Since I was late, I took the train. Oh god, cramped like sardines. Plus, I have the suspicion that some of the commuters did not bathe. Ew.
#3: Felt sick throughout my shift. 'Nuff said.
#4: My till was not balanced and I had to pay the shortage out of my own pocket. I am not entirely sure if it's my fault since we pretty much just use each others' tills but since my account was logged on, it was my responsibility.
#5: I got lost on the way to Bukit Merah's library. Imagine me, all sick and lethargic, shuffling about the whole of Bukit Merah Town Center. Ayup.
#6: I found out I have a $3 fine for overdue books.
#7: I took the wrong bus home and ended in the middle of nowhere.
#8: I went trekking. You know those steep hills all over SGH? Yeah, I conquered them all to go to the 190 bus stop.

My off day is tomorrow so I'll update about prom and other positive stuff then. A good night's sleep should fix me up. Hopefully.

... I feel so... upset.

2008-11-17T19:15:00.004+08:00

Mood: Content
Listening to: Hare Guu DX OP

Firstly, Gokudera in this content mood picture is so incredibly hot.

...Okay. So the first day of work was today. It was... okay. I was the first to arrive at the HQ (fsadfas I was 45mins early; talk about kiasu). Over there, I made a new friend (Haziqah is a really nice person! II HITO!). Sadly, we got posted at different places; she was assigned to Ngee Ann City and I, to Bukit Timah Center. At first, I was incredibly envious. I mean, she got the most hip and happening place (KINO IS JUST 3 FLOORS ABOVE HER FSADFAS; I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO STAND IT) while I got posted to the back of beyond. But turns out it was a blessing in disguise coz NAC is THE biggest and busiest outlet and people often quit coz it's just that strenous. (HANG IN THERE HAZIQAH! >0<)

My co-workers are very nice people (II HITO.) and so is my manager! There's this lady called Azza (Her name is Azizah but short forms are totally the in thing now) and she showed me around and stuff. I'm supposed to be under her guidance. I'mma apprentice nao rofl.

~~Apparently, we have an old hag for a supervisor whom I haven't had the misfortune to meet yet. From what everybody says of her, it seems like she's the reincarnate of the Wicked Witch of the West.~~

And you know how we refer to shelves as shelves? Not in the sales department. We have the panogram, the power buys, the top shelf, the waterfall, the canadian cross, etc. My head is reeling from everything now. @_@

All in all, this is really a whole new world. I'm glad that I got posted where I did - everything's pretty much fine enough for me not to be not glad, haha. I may not be online much these days coz working is really tiring so I'll be using this blog as a means to communicate with the world. ...Not like anyone reads this heap of junk. XD

OFF TO SLEEP NOW. Yes, I am that tired.

PROM NIGHT TOMORROW. Thank you Sarah, for being my fairy godmother. ;D

2008-11-16T00:25:00.005+08:00

Mood: Dorky

At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. (What.) You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor. (Haha. But seriously. What.)

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognise the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, 'Simpatico'. (SIMPATICO~ AMIGO~)

It is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence and there is no one to rely on. (I am so ronery. D:) Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you'll have to make the best of things as they are. (I ARE SO OFFENDED DESUDESU.)

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a duck's back. (Duck. HAHAHA.) You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. (S&M LOL.) You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. (You have me suicidal~ SUICIDAAAAL~) All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes. (BELIEVE IN ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU.)

...Srsly, what?

2008-11-14T22:10:00.003+08:00

Mood: Indescribable
Listening to: Wani to Kotori - Kimura Kaela

I'm starting work on Monday. It'll be a weekday job so I'll only have Saturdays and Sundays free.

Normally, people will be enjoying their 'freedom after Os' time. And here I am, committing myself to a job till school starts again (hopefully).

...What the hell am I doing.

2008-11-11T09:49:00.005+08:00

Mood: FUCKIN' ELATED YEAH
Listening to: Original Prankster - The Offspring, Heats, Damaged Goods - Gang of Four, Are You Gonna Be My Girl - Jet, AND A TON OF OTHER SONGS. ROCK IT OUT DUDES.

O LEVELS OVER HELL YES.

Will blog again when I'm more coherent. (:

Good luck to you guys still sitting for your papers. Suckers. XD

2008-11-10T08:37:00.011+08:00

Mood: FAIL. OTL||
Listening to: Mihashi's March

Background info: Mihashi's March is a song about a boy who overslept on the day of an important match resulting him in having to rush to the match. He met many mishaps along the way only to find out that the match was postponed to the following week.

~~You guys should know this because I actually put up the song with english lyrics the other time. ... But I bet you forgot.~~

Warning: Shitshitshitshit. FUCK. Swearing involved.

Clearly, I am various shades of fail today.

I woke up late in the morning, resulting in me having to rush. I had my best uniform on already when I was applying cream onto my face but a huge dollop dropped onto my blouse, next to my breastpocket. Frantic, I tried removing it with wet tissues and soap but it wouldn't get off. I then tried detergent and scrubbed on it. By the way, I was still wearing it. Common sense grabbed a hold of me then and I removed my blouse and scrubbed as if I were to die but to no avail. That. Little. Bitch. Won't. Get. Off!

I was scrubbing it with bleach in the sink and it was fairly unnoticeable now. Satisfied, I raised the piece of cloth to my eyes... and a mixed solution of water and bleach came crashing down on my skirt. Facepalming, I changed into a new blouse (my only blouse now) and tried drying my skirt in front of the fan. Though it became slightly drier, it still looked like I pissed myself. That, and I smelled of bleach.

I set my nds to music mode so as to listen to Heats (this super GAR song that can fire you up ~~better than viagra~~) but as Heats was a short song, I had to rewind it often. Common sense gave up on me by now so I didn't set the song to repeat and was forced to listen to the starting of Mihashi's March at least four times before I changed it back to Heats. This was clearly a signal for the impending fail to come. As I rushed to school, drops of water fell on me; it was drizzling slightly. However, when I took out my umbrella, the rain stopped. Typical.

Fifteen minutes to the paper.

As I didn't really had time for breakfast, I decided to make a quick stop at the local supermarket on the way. I grabbed some mints (I can live on them. Srsly.) and head to the cash register. There was this chinese woman who was just mere miliseconds earlier than me and she ended up in front of me. It's okay though.

Or so I thought.

In front of the chinese woman was a makcik (malay woman). And she apparently forgot to weigh her tomatoes. So as she rushed to weigh them, the chinese woman was served first. And when the makcik was served, it was discovered that the packet of prawns scanned wasn't hers but it belonged to the earlier chinese woman. So they had to rescan the offending piece of seafood and all this took. Too. Much. Time.

Five minutes to paper.

So when I finally reached school, I was a sweating wreck. My carefully made hair looked like it was gone to shits, really. But that's not the worse.

...THERE WAS NO PAPER.

I GOT THE WRONG FUCKING DAY OMAIGOD I FEEL SO STUUUUUUPID FUCKFUCKFUCK.

... I found this out when I was looking at the seating arrangement. To my dismay, my number wasn't displayed. Neither was any of the Combined Science students', in fact. There was a sinking feeling in my stomach as I turned to Haziq who happened to be nearby.

Me: Haziq, today's the 11th right?
Haziq: ... It's the 10th.
Me: .... *internal struggle* ... bitch.

~~I hope he didn't think that I was cursing him.~~

So I trudged back home, depressed. I feel drained. My left boob is kinda red (from the scrubbing I did on my uniform, I suppose). One of my best bras is drenched in sweat. My only uniform smells of bleach and sweat. And it's raining now, as though the sky is crying at the sheer stupidity of it all.

TL;DR: MOST FUCKING LOUSY DAY IN A LONG TIME. AUGH.

2008-11-07T17:00:00.003+08:00

Mood: Touched
Listening to: Marisa Stole The Precious Thing

I bawled. D':

2008-11-01T23:21:00.003+08:00

Mood: Full
Listening to: I Touch Myself - Divinyls

~~Do not mind the weird song choice.~~
Parents went to KL on Friday so it's been PAR~TAY for me!
... Like real. I was half-dead from starvation just an hour ago. Brother didn't wanna cook nor did he wanna go out for food. Rummaging through the kitchen made me discover a packet of Maggi and half a packet of frozen hotdogs. *burps* I feel so satisfied now.

It's currently- *peers at clock* ... 11:32PM now. I don't really have anything constructive to update with. Just that I thought I shouldn't leave the first post as such an angsty one for a long time, haha.

OH. I SLEPT AT 5AM LAST NIGHT HAHA. Was online with mai hani and we cracked for hours straight.

Bathos is spelled as S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T says:

HARD GAY

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta $゜◇゜ $ says:

OH FECK AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

Bathos is spelled as S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T says:

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta $゜◇゜ $ says:

MIHASHI WOULD BE SHY GAY

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta $゜◇゜ $ says:

TAJIMA WOULD BE GENKI GAY

Like I said, we cracked a lot. XD

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta $゜◇゜ $ says:

OOFURI BOYS AS COWBOYS

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta $゜◇゜ $ says:

IT'D BE LIKE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Bathos is spelled as S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T says:

HAHAHAHHA

Bathos is spelled as S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T says:

OH GOD

Bathos is spelled as S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T says:

GOD

Bathos is spelled as S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T says:

ASDJHASKDJHASKJDHSAD

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta $゜◇゜ $ says:

TITLED BROKEBACK MOUND

And then our conversation degenerated into a NSFW roleplay of Tajima, Hanai, Abe and Mihashi. I have to say that hani channeled the spirit of Abe PERFECTLY. Oh god, I'm impressed bb.

After Os! Then the REAL partay begins~! :DDD

Edit: AUGH BROTHER. GROW A FRIGGIN' BACKBONE. THERE'S PIZZA IN THE OVEN AND IT'S COOKING AND IT'S DONE. YOU DON'T LINGER AROUND AND WAIT FOR IT TO BURN BEFORE GOING TO TELL ME "Hey, it's burn.". OH GOD. WHAT AN UTTER WASTE OF FOOD. MAY GOD PUNISH YOU B-TARD. [/facepalm]

2008-10-25T14:46:00.009+08:00

Mood: Sad
Listening to: Dramatic - Base Ball Bear

Edit: TL;DR. Also, insecure rants.

Oh my god. ...Wait. Let me try that again.
Oh. My. God.

I just had to go around snooping for manga spoilers for Oofuri (I was impatient D: ) and I stumbled upon raws for one of the chapters. Though it was posted February this year, it still was new news (pun lol what) for me.

*SPOILER FOR OOFURI MANGA. ~~But since I bet since no one who visits here really cares..~~

To cut a long story short, Nishiura lost the match against Bijou (by a huge margin too). And the crying faces, oh god. I felt so bad looking at Nishihiro - his face when they helped him off the field = D':. Mihashi was the last straw though; I started to cry when he cried.

I've been told I'm pretty emotional (I ought to do something about it) and this really just proves it. I'm sure some of you are like "OH MAN, IT'S JUST A COMIC WHY ARE YOU CRYING." but it's not just a comic (to me anyways). I tend to feel what the characters feel and this just made me a crying wreck. Imagine this: you've worked so hard, and your efforts now amount to nothing. Imagine the people whom you've let down. Imagine the broken ambitions and dreams. All of that bundled together and heaped onto your shoulders. Oh god, if that isn't sad, I don't know what is.

Hannah asked me this a few days ago: "Is there anything you are afraid of?". I couldn't really think of anything but I think I can now. The aftermath of failure. Not so much failing; I can speak from experience. But it's what comes after failing. That is truly scary. It's logical to be all "I'LL TRY HARDER NEXT TIME TO AVOID MORE FAILURES." but face it, how many of us actually feel that way? It's more likely that we'll be depressed and dejected. Standing back up takes a lot of effort and bravery.

Coming from me, it's kinda funny since I'm usually "Oh woah. I failed (again). Haha, I'll just try harder next time (again)." But I'm starting to rethink about everything. O Levels specifically. When the stakes are higher, you just can't afford to be that easygoing. I know that if I fail now, I'll be crushed. Part of my brain is already forming a backup plan; it's thinking "I'll just find a job and retake the O Levels should I fail.". But I don't want it to come to that. I'm scared really.

Oh man, I only mean to share the scans and now I'm being all "BAAAAW RAAAANT." on my blog. So sorry for the angst. I'm going to repent by continuing my Maths. Thank god I usually write in pencil so there's no smudged ink stains.

2008-10-12T10:28:00.003+08:00

Mood: Cheerful
Listening to: Top Of The Morning - Sunset Swish

Hey guys! Look look!

Oxidation -> gain of oxygen / loss of hydrogen
-> loss of electrons

Reduction -> loss of oxygen / gain of hydrogen
-> gain of electrons

Haz's (whacky) remembering method~!

When a relationship is over, you gain a feeling of 'over-ness' and experience a loss of happiness! You'll also experience a loss of energy to do anything!

When you're reunited with a loved one though, you lose that feeling of 'over-ness' and have a gain of happiness! You'll also gain energy to do anything the world throws at you!

... I love studying now! :D

2008-10-09T19:25:00.017+08:00

Mood: Naughty
Listening to: Nageki no Mori - Ayane

PICS FROM GRADUATION DAY BWAHAHA.
ENJOY. (:

La famiglia. One of our more "normal" photos. XD

Our spot. WE CLAIM THIS TERRITORY YO! >D
~~I'm not in here because I was the shutter-crazy photog. XD~~

Warning: Prepare for unglam-ness? And crack? Also, foodplay. *bricked*

OH HO. WE ARE THAT LAME.

...Insanity at it's best. ;D

Unfortunately, insanity was not welcomed. D:

Everyone tried to kill me. DDD:

But after much ~~BOLLYWOOD-STYLE~~ persuasion from MAI HANI...

... ties were restored~! *PEACE* ^^v

HEART~! Who's that in the bushes....?

HUZZAH!!! 8DDD

After much crack at school, we trooped into Lot 1's Pizza Hut~! :D
~~WE SUPPORT THE REBELLION.~~

OMNOMNOM. BIG NOM. 8D

Me: EAT YOUR VEGGIES.
Sarah: IYAA~ DAME~!!

Well, our family mealtimes wouldn't be completed with crazy mealtime activity so we had a game of TRUTH OR DARE~! But then everyone started ~~being a pussy~~ choosing truth so I had to make a rule - the next turn after three consecutive truths MUST be a dare! This rule, however, came back to bite me in the butt. D:

I got dared to do something rather... unspeakable. However, it was really very embarrassing and it sort of unleashed my dark side. Everyone involved in making me do that dare had to carry out a specific dare given by yours truly. ;D

Hazel: Drink a glass of coke with pepper, paprika, cheese and pineapple bits in one gulp.

Yeah, you can tell it was foul from her expression. XD

Shang: Eat the remains of Hazel's drink.

Mmmm~ ;D

As sarah was the mastermind, she was given the most FOUL dare~ Nyehehe.... |D

Sarah: Swallow a spoonful of a layer of pepper, paprika, cheese, and another layer of pepper topped with two olives.

She started choking and coughing real bad. I would have felt pity, but I was being evil then. :P I'll spare her the embarrassment by not uploading a picture of her face twisted in agony. Aren't I nice? *smile*

There were more pictures but I'll spare you guys the loading time, haha. With this last picture, I bid you adieu~!

End~! :D

Edit: This may very well be the last post until O Levels are over. SAVOR IT. D:

2008-10-06T17:46:00.002+08:00

Mood: Melancholy
Listening to: Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar

Well. Today was a fun day.
Camwhoring, randomness at Pizza Hut, crack.
It was all very fun until we parted ways.

And on my way home, I realised something.
This is it.
I've graduated. I'm no longer a Sec 4 Bpian. (Well, I still am actually; you get my drift?)
There won't be any more going to our corner outside the ~~slums~~ boys toilet and talking random.
There won't be any crazy trips after school to Liang Court.
There won't be any random baseball practice at the back of class.
There won't be any more walks home from school together.

Oh god. I feel sad now.

Well, I guess what I wanna say is:

I love you guys. Thank you for all the fun times I had in BP. It's rather long, but I would like to dedicate this to you guys. It's lyrics to a song entitled "Thank You" and I believe nothing can convey my feelings better than this.

Thank You - Home Made Kazoku

To the people who have always supported me,
I've put you in my rhapsody of everyday thoughts.
I hope my feelings of appreciations will reach you.
Thank you as always. Really, thank you.
No matter where you are, I'll always be thankful you exist.

An uncertain future is scary, and then you faced me.
And without saying anything you softly took my hand.
My sadness was halved and my pleasure doubled.
My life was turned around instantly.
And you swore to run to my side.

Far away far away,
Even if we're widely separated in the flow of time,
The memories of the days we spent together
Will never ever fade away.
Friends, and family, and lovers, and all the people we met:
"Thank You!!"
It's thanks to everyone
That from tomorrow on we can advance strongly again.

No one is living alone.
We always take mutual care of each other.
And when we can't see eye to eye, we talk things over.
We want to laugh so much until our stomachs hurt.
But then, why do we speak ill of these times
When we have no intention to harm one another?
I love you so much it's absurd.
It's a little embarrassing, but I mean...

To the people who have always supported me,
I've put you in my rhapsody of everyday thoughts.
I hope my feelings of appreciations will reach you.
Thank you as always. Really, thank you.
No matter where you are, I'll always be thankful you exist.

When you turn around I WILL BE THERE.
JUST FOREVER, like we said.

To the people who have always supported me,
I've put you in my rhapsody of everyday thoughts.
I hope my feelings of appreciations will reach you.
Thank you as always. Really, thank you.
No matter where you are, I'll always be thankful you exist.

I love you all. (:

2008-10-05T09:45:00.003+08:00

Mood: Weird
Listening to: Last Cross - Hitman Reborn 5th Op

24 hours a day isn't that long a time. Seriously. You spend 8 hours sleeping so that's 1/4 of the time gone. And then there's eating (3 meals a day? exclusive of snacking) which would deduct at least 2 hours. Then there's lazing about time (DON'T DENY IT SLACKERS.) which would occupy say, 2 hours a day too? And don't get me started on the internet - once you're hooked, say goodbye to at least 3 hours. So you're left with 9 hours.

With less than half a day left everyday, you can really afford to waste that precious "you-time", right? And this is why, ladies and gentlemen, I am against pissing.

That's right, pissing. Aka answering the call of nature, going for a tinkle, relieving yourself, yadda yadda.

Trips to the toilet results in unnecessary time wastage! You spend 5 minutes (or more) relieving yourself, and then some more time washing your hands (please say you do) and then you end up checking how you look in the mirror, which leads to you redoing your hair or whatnot and when you realise it, 20 minutes (or more) has passed.

And say this ritual takes place 5 times a day. That's almost TWO WHOLE HOURS wasted!

So mom, please don't ask me why I have infrequent toilet trips.

2008-10-01T21:35:00.006+08:00

Mood: Good
Listening to: Love & Joy - Yuki Kimura

Here's wishing you all:

Selamat Hari Raya~!! :D
Shaky hand was shaky. How do you all make camwhoring look so easy? D:

Hari Raya this year started off the same like every other year. Though, not really coz (1) there was this mourning ceromony at my void deck and boy, it was LOUD (2) Stalin wasn't here to celebrate it with us. I kinda feel a bit sad at (2) but then I realised that he doesn't really treat me as his sister anymore so that got rid of any nostalgic feeling left.

That just made me sound totally heartless. D:

So after asking forgiveness from our parents (I washed my make up away with my tears. I hate my emotional side sometimes.), we head off to our relatives' houses. Went to a total of 3 houses~

...I haven't counted the money I've gotten yet. XD;

We came home earlier this year compared with the others coz one of my uncle wasn't at home so we had to skip the usual visit to his house. When we got back, I.. uh... camwhored with my mom?

We were being ~~COO~UHL~~ weird; don't mind. XD

So yeah, wish you all had a great holiday~! Back to school tomorrow~! :D

Farewell, genmitsu ni~! (^◇^)ノ)

PS. That contact lens post has been dated "2009" so that it remains at the top of my blog. Hope you all don't mind! XD;

2008-09-27T02:18:00.003+08:00

Mood: Bitchy
Listening to: Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl

I went shopping with my family tonight (well, it's 2.32am now; 'last night' would be more accurate). Was initially happy that we're going out as a family since we don't get to do it often but I should have known better. Our family outings are nothing pretty; this one's no exception. Oda thinks I'm petty, Mommy thinks I'm temperamental. Nothing new, ho-hum.

I hate being thought of as childish and immature for the wrong reasons. ~~I do know that I'm childish and immature though, so there.~~

...Ignore this rant. I'm probably pms-ing. On a more interesting note: I had a dream involving Yama and The Best Male Specimen this morning. Honestly, it's a 9.5 on the WTF-scale ~~though it was kinda sweet. I suppose.~~

On a more serious note, I think I'm sick. My weight has been at a constant of 40kg for almost a month despite large meals. Hopefully this will change once fasting period is over. Meh.

I can't sleep. I'm off to do work.

*waves*

Also: Updated sections in the sidebar (eg. archive, icon, bgm). How productive.

2008-09-21T15:13:00.002+08:00

Mood: Relaxed
Listening to: Ookiku Furikabutte 5 (More like watching than listening. XD)

Dear You - Shion Sonozaki
English Translation

I'm wondering where you are and what you are doing now.
Are you at the other side of this blue sky?

There used to be something filling my empty heart.
Now that I've lost it, I realised it was you.
How you had always been the one that was supporting me.
How you had always comfort me with your smile.

The price I must pay for what I've lost
Is much too big and impossible to bear.
I will do everything to recover it.
If only I can reach it with these hands of mine.

As if it were wind, it slips right through my hand.
It's as though I can catch it but never will.

Loneliness and despair has ruined my heart.
Slowly I feel my heart starts to fade.
The yearning memory of your smile
is all there is left to support me.

We have one more chance to start all over again.
I know that this time things will be sorted out.
Like you always did, stay by my side and smile at me.
Like always, just stay by my side.

I'm wondering where you are and what you are doing now
Are you at the other side of this blue sky?
Will you still smile at me like you always did?
Now, that is all that I can hope for.
______________________

Lyrics put up for my dear daughter. ^^
Might be putting the song up here... I'll think about it later~
*continues (re-)watching Oofuri*

Oh Kano-kun. You kill me so. ♥

2008-09-20T08:36:00.006+08:00

Mood: Bouncy Literally, bouncing in my seat. XD
Listening to: Mihashi's March - USHA

Mihashi's March - USHA
English translation

I overslept this morning,
But anyways, I need to hurry up and GO!

There's no breakfast, there's no lunchbox;
Mama went to work today.

I can't afford to be late.
There is no mistake; this is HELL.

Well, I wanna use my mobile
To reach Momo-Kan.
But then I dropped it into a water puddle.

IT'S OVER.
I have this important game today
IT'S OVER.
What should I use as an excuse?
IT'S OVER.
The wheel of the bicycle fell off.
IT'S OVER.
Ouch, I hurt myself!

Anyways, I quickly ran to school.
There was no one at the field.

I tried to use a public phone to reach someone
But I couldn't remember a single phone number.

In the staff room, I hoped for anyone to know
Siga-sensei's phone number.

"The game has changed place to the matching school.
They didn't contact you?"

IT'S OVER.
My mobile is broken.
IT'S OVER.
I'm so shocked that I'm frozen.
IT'S OVER
I couldn't hear what the teacher said anymore.
IT'S OVER.
Well, I have no choice but to go.

Finally, I reached the matching school.
As expected, there was no one at the field.

I searched all over the place for my teammates
But there was no sign of them.

I'm so prepare to be screwed;
I went to Abe-kun's home.

At Abe-kun's home,
I explained what happened.

"The match has changed to NEXT WEEK."

IT'S OVER.
Why ON EARTH did I went though all this?
IT'S OVER.
I feel like digging a hole and burying myself RIGHT NOW.
IT'S OVER.
"Is that a WOUND? DID YOU HURT YOURSELF?"
IT'S OVER.
Abe-kun is so extremely super, uber, duper, MAD.

I've learnt my lesson...

I'll eat breakfast properly.....

IT'S OVER!!!!!

____________________

Totally. Awesome. Song.
Oh Mihashi. ILU.

____________________

This whole week has been a week of epic sayings. In order of occurance:

When: Interchange period in school
Who: Two boys
Where: Third floor staircase
What: "No matter what, I still think that... Mine. Is better. Than his." - Random boy to his friend in a SRS BSNS!tone.

My thoughts: Your WHAT? YOUR WHAAAT? Omigoddirtythoughtsbegone. D:

When: Interchange period in school
Who: A group of boys
Where: Outside the Science labs
What: "And then... the SILICON DROPPED!"
*horrified gasps* "SURE OR NOT!" "HOW CAN!"
"IT'S TRUE."
- Random boy to his group of friends.

My thoughts: Si-silicon... Are they talking a-about... b-b-breastimplantsomigodwhat!!!! DDDX

When: Mothertongue period
Who: SARAH
Where: ML1
What: "DAMN. 2 marks gone all because of a 'kan'.
"A cunt- WHAT?"
- Sarah to me.

My thoughts: OmigodwhysovulgarSaraaaaah. DDD:

When: After school
Who: Shangbel (OF ALL PEOPLE?)
Where: Outside the school gate
What: "Woah. The hole is so small but the bird-"
"SHANG, NO! DON'T CONTINUE THAT SENTENCE!!!"
- Shangbel to me, upon seeing seeing a crow slipped into the school through a hole in the fence.

My thoughts: .... *mindbreak*

EPIC WEEK HAS BEEN EPIC.

2008-09-15T22:09:00.006+08:00

Mood: Quixotic
Listening to: Medaka Ga Miti Niji - Kozue Takada

Medaka Ga Miti Niji - Ookiku Furikabutte ED
English translation

I wonder what I should do
to be happy.
I wanted to change the suffering present
but the answer wouldn't come,
and I had nowhere to go,
so I looked up at the blue sky.
I like myself
and I hate myself.
Just gonna step forward;
I can change myself.
I clench my fist tightly
and - like this - I move forward
and become just a bit better.
That small happiness will come one day,
so I can laugh now, right?
I am neither strong nor kind,
and even as my feet continue to shake
I will believe, a little,
that a rainbow will be painted in the sky.

Lovely. This song. Incredibly moving. Q__Q
__________________

That aside, I had the most loveliest of mornings today~ *hearts*

I was on my way to school when it started drizzling. Me being the lazy bum that I am, walked in the rain. My umbrella was buried deep within my bag and there was a cut in it too (why do I even continue to keep it?); taking it out was a bit meaningless. Besides, stopping and rummaging through my bag will get me and (more importantly) my ds wet so I just endured the light shower. I was waiting for a road to clear for me to cross when all of a sudden, this bpian guy behind me offered to share his umbrella.

That's right.

CHIVALRY DOES EXIST!

Of course, I accepted. We made little small talk; I found out he was from 3M1. ~~I'm two years older and he's taller. DAMN. All you juniors make me feel short. D:~~ (Sarah was wtf-ing at me knowing his class but not his name. Excuse me dear, I don't go around memorising people's nametags. XD) Overall, he seemed like a pretty nice guy. I'm kinda smitten. SHH.

Haha, I like my mood theme. XD

Edit: New header image~! :D It's Koizora~! ~~Yes, I cried at this movie too. Stfu plox.~~

2008-09-09T08:10:00.009+08:00

Mood: Nerdy
Listening to: Dramatic - Base Ball Bear (When will I get sick of this song, I wonder?)

09/09.
Omg.
*rushes away*

*comes back*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DERA-CHAN!!! :DDDDDDDD

(Done in 2-3 hours between some serious revision)

I just realised it's his birthday! Oh gee! I feel all happy now. :D No wonder I could do 2 hours of Maths without contemplating suicide; the spirit of dera-chan is with me~! XD

I'll go celebrate by making more dynamite for EOY. *hyped up*

2008-09-08T22:12:00.006+08:00

Mood: Rushed. Overwhelmed. Busy. Auuugh.
(Still) Listening to: Dramatic - Base Ball Bear

Haha, I'm so stressed. (:

List of things to be done:
- HMT (Compo/PaperII/Compre)
- Biology (Set worksheet)
- Mathematics (North Vista PaperII)
- Madrasah SIX-PAGE Essay --> TO BE HANDED IT IN 2 DAYS TIME GASFASDFAS

Someone, just kill me already. D:
____________________

MASSIVE PICSPAM BWAHAHAHA

Found this (really blurry, haha) picture of me and guenyik at last year's EOY.
... Initially, I was filled with this warm fuzzy feeling when looking at this photo.
Now, I just feel like headesk-ing myself thinking about the progress of this year's EOY.
*stress*

TEEHEEHEE.
Obligatory pic spam of my new Reborn merchandise.
...*fangirls*

I couldn't believe the price. It's cheaper than the other doujins I got. o_o
*dies thinking of the 8059BOX*
Doujins are like pringles; once you pop, you just can't stop! XD

DERA-CHAN. I FEEL YOUR PAIN. JUST LOOKING LIKE THAT. D:

Me being retarded at the zoo, haha.
Picture taken last year. Last year retarded, this year STILL retarded. XD

Oda joins me in my "retardation", lol. :P

END OF PICSPAM

Edit: This post holds the record for the longest tag list ever. XD

2008-09-07T21:29:00.006+08:00

Mood: Dorky
Listening to: Dramatic - Base Ball Bear

Ooooooooofuuuuuuriiiiiiii~~~!!!! *insert massive amounts of hearts here*

Ookiku furikabutte (The Big Windup)

Ookiku Furikabutte OP

The series, set in Saitama, follows the story of Ren Mihashi. Mihashi was the previous ace pitcher in his middle school's baseball team, but it seems that he only got the position because of favouritism as his grandfather was the owner of the school. His teammates (especially the team's catcher) hated him, and they always lost their games. Mihashi is thoroughly convinced that he is a lousy baseball pitcher and he graduates to high school with extremely low self-esteem. He then transfers to Nishiura high school with plans of quitting baseball, because he does not believe he is good enough to succeed at baseball. However, he is dragged into Nishiura's baseball team by their coach. Assisted by his new teammates (and especially the catcher, Takaya Abe), he grows in stature, confidence and skill, helping his team excel with his own abilities.
____________________________

I've spammed 4 episode in one night. Now, I'm usually not a fan of sport animes but this gem right here totally stole my heart. The art is something different from what I usually watch but it gets endearing after a while. What touched me the most was the interaction between the characters. I could really feel for Mihashi; how hurtful it is to be hated for loving something so much. So no prizes for those who guessed he's my fave character.

And Tajima too, coz he's just so hyper and cute, haha.
____________________________

Oh, and haha! Like I was telling Mirul and Shangbel, I had the heart attack of the century today! Totally trufax; not exaggerating.

We were breaking fast and I happened to glance at this giant bookshelf my mom found and dragged back home. It was then that I started to have fits. ~~Actually, I was just making weird strangled noises.~~

ALL MY DOUJINS WERE ON DISPLAY THERE. YES, ALL. PRIMO AMORE WAS NO EXCEPTION.

And my mom went all, "Isn't this a nice bookshelf! You can put your comics here!" :DDDDD

I went all ---> !!! (O____O;;)||| ---> ((((\(@_____@;;;)/)))

I had to make up some excuse that the books were really expensive (hey, not really a lie; the 8059BOX cost a BOMB D: ) and I rushed them into my room to be hidden someplace safer and more private. Now my whole family thinks I'm some crazy cheapo. ~~With the exception of Lenin who knows the truth; damn guy was sniggering throughout the entire ordeal. D:~~

Being a fangirl is hard work yo. D:
_________________________

Oh oh, does anybody need colored contact lenses? Drop me a tag or msg me on msn! I have a lobang for affordable, nice lenses! :D

2008-09-02T23:15:00.006+08:00

Mood: Silly
Listening to: Kaizers 115. Drøm - Kaizers Orchestra

What's inside my pencil case:

- 35 cents
- 4 (non-working) black PILOT pens
- 4 bobby pins
- 1 needle
- a piece of string
- 1 black hair clip
- 1 broken blue pen
- 2 erasers
- 1 frog handphone accessory
- 1 rubber band
- 1 green pen
- 2 2B wooden pencils
- 1 dark blue pen
- 1 correction tape
- a pair of scissors
- 2 highlighters
- 1 FOX sweet wrapper

Approx time wasted compiling this list: 4 mins

... I should really restock my pencil case. That, and stop doing meaningless things such as this just to delay finishing my homework.

.::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.

Obligatory picspam of my ~~baby~~ 8059BOX:

I spent a whole 5 minutes fangirling BEFORE I opened the package. XD

4D NO! XD It was wrapped carefully in bubble-wrap.
It was like unwrapping a birthday present. So full of anticipation, kufufufu.

LOOK AT THE THICKNESS. Thickest doujin I've ever owned! O__O
I know I only got 3 doujins, stfu pl0x.

AND IT'S MINE. ALL MINE.
Yes, that's my hand. I dare you to find a skinnier hand than that. XD

I feel happy that I can start to recognise artists by their art! ^^
Matreshka makes me happy. Nalis too. Tee hee.

2008-09-02T10:47:00.008+08:00

Mood: Nostalgic
Listening to: Haru Haru - Big Bang

Em gee! I found our sec1 pictures while clearing the comp, haha.
I'd like to share the nice memories. :D

WARNING: IMAGE HEAVY POST. Brain damage from crack pictures.

A normal day at class 102...

...with the normally wacky students, haha.

Flying hiiiigh~~~ ~~On drugs.~~ Teehee. Who's that in the bg? XDDD

Ezzati is camera-shy...

... while these two are not.

And so am I! Oh god, my hair was fugly.

Bored of ~~camwhoring~~ taking artistic pictures,
the students rebel against their captivity and yearn to go to the outside world.

Macam real.

Finally they were free~! (Read: Excursion)

Us being crazy. So crazy that we couldn't take the picture properly. XDDD

Morning stretching exercises.

Az, giving a model pose, while fellow photographers tried to capture the moment.

Bpian Next Top Model. Posing for Covergirl. XDDD

Advertising Sprite and Nike. XD

One more picture! One more! Please??

Sadly, there's no more. *emos*

Hope you enjoyed the pictures! XD

2008-09-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

Mood: Productive
Listening to: Cute Is What We Aim For - Marriage to Millions

Well, the famiglia has went to McDonald's for a study session. Would love to join them but it's best if I stay away from food outlets during this one month - people would stare. XD

So uhm. New header image~! Since I sorta realised my blog was crammed with Yamamoto... Haha... ^^;

Rant on Praises

So I was actually doing my HMT homework and there was this passage. I'll loosely translate it for you guys:

If you're honest, you would admit how enjoyable it is to be praised. Most of us would be flooded with a sense of assurance when someone says that we are pretty, clever, capable and many more.

This. It's trufax.

And now looking back at praises; most of the praises given are either given because we're visually appealing, intellectually able, and physically apt. What ever happened to praises on other little things that most people dismiss so easily - such as gestures of kindness?

And -

....
....
....

HOMFG THE 8059 BOX ARRIVED ILU SINGPOST.

BRB. FANGASMING.

2008-08-31T11:37:00.003+08:00

Mood: Impressed
Listening to: The rain pattering on my window *attempt at being poetic*

Firstly, The Godfather is sick, man. It's awesome shit.
~~Oda would fit perfectly as Vito Corleone. Trufax.~~

It's been a long time since I've watched a movie and the fact that this one is a GREAT one is all the more better. The movie got me thinking about many things and some scenes were very moving. I teared up at the part where the Don was looking at Sonny's body with this small sad smile on his face, as though he was torn between laughing and crying. And shock factor was plentiful as well (how they dealt with Carlo? Keysmash-worthy.) The scene with the horse's head? Deliciously shocking.

I have a feeling all of you might think I'm sadistic now. XD

Tempted to watch the next movie but a 6-hour movie marathon might be pushing it. Ah~ popcorn would really hit the spot now. <3

That aside, I can't believe fasting starts tomorrow. ~~MY DOUJIN HASN'T ARRIVED YET IF IT ARRIVES DURING THE FASTING MONTH I'M GONNA HAVE TO STRANGLE SOMETHING.~~

2008-08-24T13:46:00.008+08:00

Mood: ~~FUCKIN LOL~~ Jubilant

Helen {helenbufaky@hotmail.com} has added you as a contact on msn.

- Accept and add this contact to your messenger list.

[Okay.]

[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta (Ice Queen) says:
hello (:
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta (Ice Queen) says:
who are you?
Helen says:
hey, A/S/L?
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta (Ice Queen) says:
i asked first (:
Helen says:
hey whats up babe, U got a webcam? finally someone adds me, I am soo fuckin horny today for some reason lol
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta (Ice Queen) says:
.... a pervert huh? *sighs*
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta (Ice Queen) says:
sorry, not interested.
Helen says:
listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u do..lol!
[[Kowaii Uke-chan]] Hera.Tempesta (Ice Queen) says:
i'm sorry, i'm not interested. you can try someone else. wish you good luck! (:

[You cannot send or receive a message from Helen because you've blocked this contact.]

ROFL ROFL. HAY THAR. CYBER SECKS IS SO LAST CENTURY.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS MYSTICAL HEAVEN CALLED "GEYLANG" LOL. 8D

2008-08-23T23:55:00.004+08:00

Mood: Giggly
Listening to: Cute Is What We Aim For - Navigate Me

If my mood theme consisted of the mood 'breathlessly excited' or 'extremely blushy', I would have chosen it to convey my mood now but alas.

風雅. The cause of my excitement. Seriously, you are the living embodiment of sexy itself. I saw a picture of you giving a sideways glance to the camera and now I have to bite my lip because it's quivering so much from my being flustered like so. AUGH I ENVY THAT GIRL WITH YOU. D:

~~I are in scary jealous fangirl mode.~~

I wonder; are you the better Yama of the two I like? ... Okay. I'm gonna stop wondering now. And I have to stop leaving his msn window open. It's like I'm disillusioning myself that we're talking. Which truly might be the case, ho shit-

OT: I know that I complain about stalkers sometimes but I seriously think that at times, I'm just like one. ~~Seriously, what was I doing finding blogs and friendster accounts? Oh yeah, boredom.~~

This has made me seriously consider a profession as a Private Investigator.

Edit: Haha, my mood chosen for today is Yamamoto! How appropriate! 8D

2008-08-22T11:52:00.002+08:00

Mood: Lethargic
Listening to: Cute Is What We Aim For - Do What You Do

Uhm. I'll be going out later to Liang Court. Usually, this is where I would start praying that I don't splurge and when I DO splurge I'll just facepalm. But since I'm already broke (for realz), I don't have to go through this practice today haha. (:

Shang finishes her paper at 12.30? So I'll be going out soon to meet up with them. I thought that they were gonna crash my house and spam PS1 games before we head off to Kino but I got a call saying that they were at Lot 1 so that's that. I just poured the drinks into a bottle back into a fridge and the snacks are back in the drawers so yeah.

*perks up* But I got an uninvited visitor~! You know Orange-kun, the orange kitty around my neighbourhood? It was in my corridor when I went out to water the plants! It was all over me and rubbing everywhere~ ~~If that kitty was human, I'd marry it. Srsly. <3~~

CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR ~~IS THE NEXT BEST THING TO SEX [Hyperbolism]~~ IS AN AWESOME BAND. TRUFAX. >D

2008-08-20T19:12:00.002+08:00

I'm using my brother's computer and since I'm not allowed to bookmark anything, I'll save the links here for future references. Feel free to visit the links too.

Warning: All Reborn! fans are required to be fully equipped with tissues to mop up nosebleeds and drooling. You have been warned.

[Reborn! Cosplay Ring]

http://fresca.noor.jp/tp.htm
- Wonderful Gokudera! Despite the 8059 layout, this site focuses more on 5927..

http://hs-darling.chu.jp/new-top.htm
- Uber cute Tsuna~! There are some sweet 5927 moments as well.

http://night-knight.com/
- IMPRESSIVE WEBSITE, belonging to the famous legendary Hibari coser, Naito.

http://shinobi.finito.fc2.com/top.html
- There's never enough of Tsuna! 5927 seems to be all in the rage..

http://tonamirakuru.fc2web.com/
- MY IDOL. *insert incoherent keyboard mashing* You were BORN for Gokudera. *hearts*

2008-08-20T18:38:00.003+08:00

Mood: Shocked
Listening to: Some funky techno song from a 100&51 cosplay video

Omg.
Wait, that didn't come out right. Lemme try again.

ZOMFG WHAT THE HELL AAAAUUUUUUURRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

S-seventy eight d-dollars a-and f-f-fourteen ce-cents...

P-please, excuse me while I stare blankly at the monitor.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_

Oh yeah. Science practical is tomorrow. I should probably study.
As soon as I snap out of my shocked state, I swear.
Y-yamamoto might be in the same lab as me HOMIGOD. *frantic*

2008-08-14T21:23:00.005+08:00

Mood: Depressed
Listening to: Bust a Groove 2 OST - The Heat is On

Well, I didn't have school today so I slept in. Had the most WEIRDEST dream though. I dreamt that Ms Rashidah asked me how I was doing for the current exams while I was waiting for some friends by the e-fingerprint system.

... That ~~nightmare~~ dream scared me shitless. Pure realistic.

Made me realise the seriousness of the prelims though... A bit too late for that I suppose. *bitter laugh*

PATHETIC EMOFAG RANT BELOW - HIGHLIGHT AT YOUR OWN RISK

Just yesterday, one of the few horrifying things that could happen to any student happened to me: My calculator died at the start of the Maths exam.

I felt so terrified and helpless; I kept jabbing at the reset button in despair. At last, I made it through the paper without one. It was so dispiriting that I almost gave up on the paper but I forced myself to do it. It was a half-hearted attempt though.

As soon as the teacher collected the papers, I cried. There wasn't any dramatic wailing, banging of fists on tables or even uncontrollable sobbing; the tears just streamed down my cheeks quietly. I turned my head to look out of the class to avoid people looking (thank god for small favours like a window-seat).

Didn't even felt like going down for recess because I knew that the paper would be what everyone would be talking about. And if I seemed depressed and told you all to can the talk about the paper, you guys would just assume that I didn't manage to do the paper due to lack of knowledge, not a calculator (cruel but sorry, it's trufax). So I just stayed in class. Xi Ying came over and asked me what's wrong. I told her (I even managed to laugh through my tears) and you know what she did?

She hugged me and encouraged me to try harder next time.

And I realised that what I wanted most then was a friend by my side. To pat me or give me a comforting hug and tell me that it's okay even when it's not. I know it's unreasonable of me - specially since everyone else was worrying about how they did for their own papers - but I couldn't help it. I needed someone then. Anyone.

I know that I act strong and confident in front of everyone. It's very believable (or so I'd like to think) and I believe it as well because I want to. But an act is an act; the play can't go on forever. But if my act stops, it makes people uncomfortable so I keep it up.

I'm tired. Very tired.

So, thank you Xi Ying, for being there. And Mirul too for putting up with my out-of-the-blue sms rants. :D

2008-08-12T00:02:00.003+08:00

Mood: Frustrated

Competition Entry (Attempt #1)

That day was not just any other day.

"Let's end this."

So it was okay to lie on that day right?

You looked at me, one eyebrow arched. You pulled your hair behind your ears as though it could help you hear better; I almost laughed at how cute the gesture was.

"Wha- What do you mean?" Your eyebrows were almost meeting as you frowned deeply at me. Ah, that look. Irritated, impatient, annoyed. That look passes by your face more so whenever you were with me.

I continued, though my eyes stray away to the left of your troubled face. "You never seem to be having fun when you're with me. You're always angry.

And I never heard you say 'I like you.'"

Your eyes widen. Shocked, perhaps, that I was even telling you all this. Yet, you remained silent for what I said was the truth; you were always this cold, distant person whenever it came to me. Even when I confessed to you, you just blushed and stormed off. The only indication that you accepted my proposal was that you stopped calling me all sorts of degrading nicknames (you stuck to 'idiot' instead). Part of your playing-hard-to-get, I know. I never said a thing and neither did you, so we kept up this charade; you, the ice queen of a girlfriend and me, the persevering boyfriend trying to melt your exterior amour.

I cleared my throat, breaking the awkward silence. "Although I do hear you say things like 'go die' and 'idiot'," I turned my back against you and forced a chuckle. It sounded unreal to my own ears.

I closed my eyes, "I'm sorry."

I have said my share. Time for me to end this.

"It's a lie! April Fool's!" I turned and grinned at the empty space that you had stood.

Stunned, I scanned the vicinity. Your back was growing smaller as you ran from me.

"H-hey!" My feet moved. Fast and faster. Soon, I was behind you. My hand reached out and grabbed onto yours.

You turned, surprised that I caught up. I stared, surprised that you were crying.

"You.. You're crying?" I began uncertainly, hands reaching out to touch your face. You did not turn away, did not snarl at me to keep out of your 'personal space'. You reacted like you never had. You let me touch you. The dampness I felt on my fingertips insisted this.

"I-I was just joking," I said weakly as you cried. You were so strong, never dependant on anyone. How was I to know you would break from something as innocent as a joke?
___________________________________

The whole walk back home, you kept crying. You held my hand and would not let go.

You would always beat me whenever I tried to lock fingers with you. Said it was 'embarrassing' and 'too lovey-dovey' but your words were betrayed by that tell-tale blush on your cheeks. I would always laugh it off and try again later, when you felt that you had your fair share of putting up a fight. I never could understand you girls and your thinking that if you were too easy, you were undesirable.

Your hands were warm in mine. It was the longest you had ever let me hold your hand.

You were still crying non-stop but I was happy.
_____________________________________

When we reached your house, you were still crying. I was at a loss of what to do.

"S-say.." I opened and closed my mouth repeatedly, unsure of what I could possibly say to make it right. "We're here alre-"

"I like you."

I stared at her.

"I like you," she repeated, her voice but a barely audible whisper. Her eyes were scrunched up tightly, as though in excruciating pain.

It was still April Fool's day. Were you lying?

You brought your hands to your face and ran away from my frozen self. I stared at you as you dashed across the streets with your eyes closed. The blaring of the horn followed soon after.

My hand was still warm from yours. The blood on the granite was even warmer.
______________________________________

The phone rang insistently that night at your house.

“Is she- Will she be alright?” I whispered urgently into the receiver for the fourth time that night.

“Yes. Yes, yes,” your mother sobbed her mantra.

Was she lying?
_______________________________________

My footsteps on the polished floor echoed throughout the room. I-

.....

WTF 600++ WORDS OF PURE OTHER CRAPPY CRACK. THE THEME IS ROMANCE, GODDAMMIT; NOT ANGST.

... I'll start on attempt #2 this weekend.

OT: New header pic~! :D

2008-08-11T21:25:00.005+08:00

Mood: Bouncy
Listening to: GLITTER★CHRISTMAS BGM

What have I been spending my time on?

... That question is best left unanswered ahaha~!

Next up: Update on brother's wedding? And a new header pic~! ;)

___________________________________

Edit: DAMN! This was only a demo. D:
... Nevermind; I've tons of other games (or demos idk haha) to play. :D

2008-08-06T00:21:00.003+08:00

Mood: Quixotic
Listening to: Skillet - The Older I Get

Why am I reading sappy (but VERY well-written) romance stories while I have an uber major exam in less than 12 hours?

... God knows.

Excerpt from the story:

"I had a great time tonight. Thank you for humouring me."

Her eyes widen and she raised a hand to her chest, rubbing her Heart through her shirt. This sounds a lot like the end of a date. She is pretty sure what they just did was merely hang out. She's not entirely sure what hanging out entails -- she's almost positive it doesn't normally include such easy banter, especially when said banter is perhaps better described as "flirting"-- but she's pretty sure it's a lot like what they just did. Which was not, in any shape size or form, a date.

He smiles and puts his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. "I'll see you on Thursday then. Just so you know, I'm going to wait to ask for your number there, but you can have mine now. In case something comes up between now and then." His right hand slips deftly from his pocket and into hers, depositing a small piece of paper before leaving. "Thanks again," he leans in and brushes his lips across her cheek, "really." Smiling slyly, both hands placed safely back into his own pockets, he turns sharply on his heel and slips back into the taxi.

She watches the cab as it turns the corner, completely overwhelmed. Oh crap, she thinks in a moment of weakness. I am completely screwed.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Uhm. What does it mean when a guy jokingly tells you you're pretty?
I swear it's that story's fault - similarly to the main character, I read too much into little gestures. I only hope that I would have a happy ending like him as well. <3

2008-08-01T22:06:00.003+08:00

Mood: Nervous
Listening to: Vertical Horizon - I'm Still Here

Ze keyboard. It has miraculously cured. <3

Anyways, nervous? Why nervous? Let me explain.

I'm nervous about facing William again coz:
1) I borrowed his worksheet to photocopy but not only did I not photocopied it, I handed it in late to the teacher.
2) I wasn't present for Chemistry class yesterday and I think he - and the teacher as well - might be pissy coz they might think that I skipped school coz I didn't wanna be tested. But I was seriously sick~! *whines*

Okay... Musn't complain anymore... *inhales*

Uhm. Well, I just got back from religious class. Aaaand, I kinda fell asleep again. *embarrassed* I had a little nap during break time and the next thing I knew, I look up to see the class two pages ahead of what were we previously studying.

The girl next to me was giggling as I scrambled up to maintain whatever dignity I had left from sprawling on my table like a drunkard. It's a very hard feat to accomplish mind you.

Uh. Other than that piece of embarrassing news, my grandparents are living with us for the time being so pardon if I'm not online often. Wouldn't do to give the impression that me and the computer are joined at the hip, haha.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

I bought my dream at $58. Yes, that's a very expensive dream.

*sighs*