Mood: Content
Listening to: My brother playing F.E.A.R 2

ONE WORD: SENTOSAISADAMNBITCHINGSHIOKPLACETOGOIMISSEDITSOMUCHYAY.

...What. One word what. ;D

So yeah. Today was Dawn's early-mini-birthday-celebration at Sentosa. Initially, I was reluctant to go because (a) I look damn fuck in shorts. (My legs are like vampires. They were screaming when they saw the sun.) and (b) a bit... lazy sia haha. But then Jive like pangseh her so I felt bad for her. ... When do I not feel bad for people? ... That's beside the point. So yeah, I went.

The guest list was shortened due to incredible amounts of people following the pangseh trend so in the end, it was me, Dawn, V, JJ and Zhi. Initially, I felt awkward that they were all guys and I only knew Dawn. I had to go freak out at Sarah on the phone (Love you babe ;D) to calm my nerves. But we had fun. They were really nice people to hang out with!

Swim, swim. Damn fun. Until V went all asshole and dumped sand on my head. ON MY HEAD OKAY. I had a helluva time trying to get it out afterwards. But V is kinda funny. Like he went all "Hi, I'm V and I'm gay." on me and everytime we see a guy he'd be all "HMM. Not old enough. I like my man hot and mature okay. Does your dad have a big dick?". Crude, but fun. For srs. XD

And then I pangseh my workplace go Bugis with Zhi and JJ afterwards because they begged me to. ... I take it back, they're not nice people. Jk! XD We went to the arcade where JJ showed off his leet skillz. Sia lah, pity the guy who played against him man. We also went to watch Terminator and GOD IT WAS SO LOUD. I tell you tomorrow I sure die; cannot hear properly when I do my practicals. OTL Didn't reached home too late coz Zhi was sweet enough to let me hitch a ride on his cab back home. :D

Haha, and another funny thing that happened was that this guy tried to chat me up. And he talked to me in MALAY. Like shit man, even Zhi and V thought I was Chinese when we first met. A few hours in Sentosa bakes you up like whoa!

I've been feeling a little down lately (especially because of certain events) but today kinda cheered me up. Sentosa, you're like one of my fave places to go now. :3

OT: FFFFFFF- My bank account less than $30 sia. DDD:

Labels: FUN, irl

Mood: Blank
Listening to: The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

Every single day, I wake up and I ask myself: Did whatever I think happened yesterday actually happened?

Sounds like I'm a bit of a drunk haha.

Will blog when I get back from work at night.

Labels: irl, random

It fucking hurts like you wouldn't believe.

Mood: Frustrated
Listening to: Attack - 30 Seconds To Mars

Song is related to my mood.

I really, really love my friends. I keep reiterating this in my blog. If you're my friend, you get like some sort of eternal protection from me. And the enemy of my friend is a motherfucker my enemy.

... Okay, nevermind. I had to let that out somewhat. I'm just feeling a little moody. BRB in 15 minutes, gonna go change my mood. (:

Labels: RAWR.

Mood: Awake
Listening to: America's Next Top Model

I'M WATCHING ANTM. OH GOD DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE I CAN WATCH IT. MON DIEU I'M ACTUALLY HOME EARLY ENOUGH TO WATCH IT. AAAAAH OH GOD I MISS THIS SO MUUUUCH-

*coughs*

Marjorie has Sakaeguchi-hair! AND SHE IS SO CUTE. SHE'S LIKE A MIHASHI DAMMIT. <3

*coughs some more*

Okay, it's 11 o'clock and I'm like soooo awake. I want to talk talk talk but I have no no no idea what to talk about... OH. OH YEAH. LISTEN TO THIS GAIZ:

Teacher: Has anyone watched "Angels and Demons"?
Student: I hate it!
Teacher: Why?
Student: Cannot understand.
Teacher: Well, it IS rather hard on the brain.

I FUCKIN' LOL. I TRIED TO KEEP IT IN BUT AHAHAHAHA. MR RASHID YOU ASS. WRY SO AWESOME CAN.

And I need to get a jacket like, BURNING. I pity J that he has to sacrifice his jacket repeatedly for me but then again, when I think how he's NOT cold in just SHORTS, it makes the pity evaporate. D:

... Okay. I got nothing else to say. Ur urrr...

OKAY UM UM. I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU SARAH. YOU'VE DONE SO MUCH FOR ME. I'll like so give you my like middle finger if you needed it. And you know how much I need it. :D

AND HAZEL. I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU. A LOT. OH BB WE NEED TO GO DO SOEM STUPID RANDOM SHIT TOGETHER AGAIN.

... THAT MISPELLING ON 'SOME' IS ON PURPES.

... I'm gonna go offline now to stop myself from making less sense.

Labels: random

Mood: Exhausted
Listening to: Fly Me to the Moon Version 2009 - Evangelion

It's 12:17am right now and I just had my dinner. That's right. Dinner.

Mom and Dad went to pick me up after work and we went to Mustafa to shop for some kitchen stuff. I don't know about you guys but family affairs such as these are painful for me. We're not the type of family that go out on Sundays to bond or have mealtimes together, just so you know. So when Dad gets the brilliant idea to do a "family thing", it usually ends up horrific. Today was no exception. OTL

Anyways, work was tiring today. Another promotion update so I spent the day writing "2 for ___" repetitively. Also, we have a new staff at work and we spent quite a bit gossiping lol.

... And I'm getting fired by the way.

I don't hold Rose responsible. I kinda expected this was coming. I mean, I can barely cover my minimum work hours of 25 hours a week. So here I am, soon-to-be-jobless. I've been trying to find another job for myself, preferably a night job or a weekend one. Mom and Dad have pretty much accustomed themselves to me supporting myself so I think it's best if I continued working. I'll lessen the financial strain on the family at least.

That's all for my mini-update today. I still have work tomorrow morning so I'm off to bed. I have a feeling that one day, I'm just gonna collapse somewhere. I pray it won't be somewhere uncool like at a public toilet or something haha.

Edit: I've been checking for job opportunities online and... are those jobs for "young, attractive and outspoken girls" with a pay of "$200 - $1,200 per hour" what I think they are?

Labels: irl, work

Mood: Tired
Listening to: Hollywood - Cute is What We Aim For


The way we're living makes no sense;
Take me back to the age of innocence.

~ Hollywood - Cute is What We Aim For


So many things are happening in a short period of time. It tires me.

These days, I keep asking myself "What is love really?". Correction: I know what love is. But I don't know what being in love is. I love my friends, each and every one of them. I would do almost anything for them. If they're happy, I'll glee with them. If they're upset, I'd want to punch the causes' teeth inwards. I'd laugh with them. I'd smile effortlessly around them. I look for them when they're not by my side and wish that they were. I love them through and through.

So what's the difference between loving and being in love?

I'm not sure if I have ever been in love before. Sure, I've looked at guys and there has been instances when I feel a bit more than the usual 'Oh-look-a-person-of-the-opposite-gender-ho-hum-nothing-much-to-care-for'. But I don't think that constitutes as love.

In a way, I do want to be in love. I want to worry myself sick for someone. I wanna yearn to look at someone even though we just spoke in the last 5 minutes. I wanna playback all our conversations and interactions in my head when I'm alone at night staring up at the ceiling from my bed. I want to be able to smile just by hearing that person's name. I want this all. Or I think I do.

Sometimes, I kind of wished that I have an arranged marriage. I wouldn't have to decide on anything. I'm a person who pretty much hates making decisions.

When I see people who love each other, I feel so envious. They found their missing jigsaw piece.


I'm not really searching for mine.

Labels: random

Mood: Giggly
Listening: Dj Ozma - アゲ♂アゲ♂EVERY☆騎士

Dear Hazrina,

I was gonna have a heart-to-heart talk with you but it seems that you are mightily distracted by a gay-looking faggot dancing and shaking it like woah. Nevertheless, I shall still attempt to be serious.

So far, your pursuit of knowledge in polytechnic has been a... struggle of sorts. But feel proud, for I feel that you are able to overcome this all. As Dr Thomas said, you will discover what you really are inside and that's what I think you're coming to.

Try to correct the wrongs that you've done. ...Actually, your wrong is that you DON'T do anything. Well, time to get off that cute ass of yours and set things straight. Be professional. Be brave.

As for your education, I suggest putting it at the highest priority. You are NOT stupid. Just lazy. And lucky. So make good of your talents to propel yourself to the top. You're not gonna waste your time on the mundane. Nuh-uh, sister.

You've done some stupid shit too, in the short time where you were coming to realization. Try not to do it too often please. You worry me.

Also, your hands smell of sin. Which disturbs you to no end. I know because you'll have this funny look on your face when you're resting your head on your hand. I suggest you go buy yourself a bottle of hand sanitizer. And perfume. Lots of it.

Yours truly,
Hazrina

PS. Isn't it nice to address yourself this way? It feels more... honest somehow. Though I suggest not searching for crack songs on youtube prior to this self-addressing.

Labels: irl

Mood: Pensive
Listening to: Get Clean - Anarchy Club

To A:

I'm so sorry if I've been so distant lately. It just feels like things have been awkward between us. I get the feeling that you're angry at me or something. I'm especially sorry about today, didn't mean to bail out. I'd explain but you probably think it's an excuse. So I'm just sorry.

To D:

YOU. Haha, don't know what to say about you. I really appreciate what you've done for me, not just today but for all the other days. You really made my days at school more bearable. And sorry for getting myself into all sorts of things and you having to lecture me. But I bet you like playing barbie babysitter lol.

To C:

I'm still confused. I'm happy. I'm worried. I'm scared. I'm... confused.

Also, haha. Get ready for tomorrow man.

To R:

Chin up! There will be a point in life when things will be shitty. No choice - suck it up and smile! You'll look better that way than with a scary RAWR frown at least haha.

And thanks for taking care of me all this while. I'll miss you.

To my two S(s):

I love you guys. I'd say more but it won't be enough to show what I feel for you both.


... That's all for now.


Edit: Remember yesterday.

Labels: irl

Mood: Groggy
Listening to: The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

... Buh. I don't feel very... stable now. Like my brain is a little disorganized.

... They call it 'dementia', haha.

+~+~+~+~++~+~+~+~+~+


I miss you all.

Labels: random

Mood: Confused
Listening to: Sakuranbo - Ai Otsuka

So, Haz. Do you want a boyfriend?

Labels: real life

Mood: Listless
Listening to: Down with the Sickness - Disturbed

I'm studying. No really. I am.


... Okay, one chapter done! :D Time to talk about my favourite topic - ME. *bricked*

Um okay. I've more or less settled down in poly. It's been, what, 3 weeks? So shyeah. I'm doing fine. :D I mostly hang out with Adi (Who is like SUPER CUTE AND NICE. It makes me wanna bully her. Which I do.) and Dawn (Who is like SUPER BEETCHY. Like yours truly, haha.). Lately, I've been hanging out with another person but that's a different matter altogether.

If Dawn or Adi reads this, they'll be sniggering.

That aside, I'm coping (more or less) with homework. And I'll be working only on weekends so I have more time to study and update here.

... Yeah, I can't think of anything else. :P

Labels: updates