Oh my god. ...Wait. Let me try that again. Oh. My. God.
I just had to go around snooping for manga spoilers for Oofuri (I was impatient D: ) and I stumbled upon raws for one of the chapters. Though it was posted February this year, it still was new news (pun lol what) for me.
*SPOILER FOR OOFURI MANGA.But since I bet since no one who visits here really cares..
To cut a long story short, Nishiura lost the match against Bijou (by a huge margin too). And the crying faces, oh god. I felt so bad looking at Nishihiro - his face when they helped him off the field = D':. Mihashi was the last straw though; I started to cry when he cried.
I've been told I'm pretty emotional (I ought to do something about it) and this really just proves it. I'm sure some of you are like "OH MAN, IT'S JUST A COMIC WHY ARE YOU CRYING." but it's not just a comic (to me anyways). I tend to feel what the characters feel and this just made me a crying wreck. Imagine this: you've worked so hard, and your efforts now amount to nothing. Imagine the people whom you've let down. Imagine the broken ambitions and dreams. All of that bundled together and heaped onto your shoulders. Oh god, if that isn't sad, I don't know what is.
Hannah asked me this a few days ago: "Is there anything you are afraid of?". I couldn't really think of anything but I think I can now. The aftermath of failure. Not so much failing; I can speak from experience. But it's what comes after failing. That is truly scary. It's logical to be all "I'LL TRY HARDER NEXT TIME TO AVOID MORE FAILURES." but face it, how many of us actually feel that way? It's more likely that we'll be depressed and dejected. Standing back up takes a lot of effort and bravery.
Coming from me, it's kinda funny since I'm usually "Oh woah. I failed (again). Haha, I'll just try harder next time (again)." But I'm starting to rethink about everything. O Levels specifically. When the stakes are higher, you just can't afford to be that easygoing. I know that if I fail now, I'll be crushed. Part of my brain is already forming a backup plan; it's thinking "I'll just find a job and retake the O Levels should I fail.". But I don't want it to come to that. I'm scared really.
Oh man, I only mean to share the scans and now I'm being all "BAAAAW RAAAANT." on my blog. So sorry for the angst. I'm going to repent by continuing my Maths. Thank god I usually write in pencil so there's no smudged ink stains.
Mood: Quixotic Listening to: Medaka Ga Miti Niji - Kozue Takada
Medaka Ga Miti Niji - Ookiku Furikabutte ED English translation
I wonder what I should do to be happy. I wanted to change the suffering present but the answer wouldn't come, and I had nowhere to go, so I looked up at the blue sky. I like myself and I hate myself. Just gonna step forward; I can change myself. I clench my fist tightly and - like this - I move forward and become just a bit better. That small happiness will come one day, so I can laugh now, right? I am neither strong nor kind, and even as my feet continue to shake I will believe, a little, that a rainbow will be painted in the sky.
Lovely. This song. Incredibly moving. Q__Q __________________
That aside, I had the most loveliest of mornings today~ *hearts*
I was on my way to school when it started drizzling. Me being the lazy bum that I am, walked in the rain. My umbrella was buried deep within my bag and there was a cut in it too (why do I even continue to keep it?); taking it out was a bit meaningless. Besides, stopping and rummaging through my bag will get me and (more importantly) my ds wet so I just endured the light shower. I was waiting for a road to clear for me to cross when all of a sudden, this bpian guy behind me offered to share his umbrella.
That's right. CHIVALRY DOES EXIST! Of course, I accepted. We made little small talk; I found out he was from 3M1. I'm two years older and he's taller. DAMN. All you juniors make me feel short. D: (Sarah was wtf-ing at me knowing his class but not his name. Excuse me dear, I don't go around memorising people's nametags. XD) Overall, he seemed like a pretty nice guy. I'm kinda smitten. SHH.
Haha, I like my mood theme. XD
Edit: New header image~! :D It's Koizora~! Yes, I cried at this movie too. Stfu plox.
Mood: Dorky Listening to: Dramatic - Base Ball Bear
Ooooooooofuuuuuuriiiiiiii~~~!!!! *insert massive amounts of hearts here*
Ookiku furikabutte (The Big Windup) Ookiku Furikabutte OP
The series, set in Saitama, follows the story of Ren Mihashi. Mihashi was the previous ace pitcher in his middle school's baseball team, but it seems that he only got the position because of favouritism as his grandfather was the owner of the school. His teammates (especially the team's catcher) hated him, and they always lost their games. Mihashi is thoroughly convinced that he is a lousy baseball pitcher and he graduates to high school with extremely low self-esteem. He then transfers to Nishiura high school with plans of quitting baseball, because he does not believe he is good enough to succeed at baseball. However, he is dragged into Nishiura's baseball team by their coach. Assisted by his new teammates (and especially the catcher, Takaya Abe), he grows in stature, confidence and skill, helping his team excel with his own abilities. ____________________________
I've spammed 4 episode in one night. Now, I'm usually not a fan of sport animes but this gem right here totally stole my heart. The art is something different from what I usually watch but it gets endearing after a while. What touched me the most was the interaction between the characters. I could really feel for Mihashi; how hurtful it is to be hated for loving something so much. So no prizes for those who guessed he's my fave character.
And Tajima too, coz he's just so hyper and cute, haha. ____________________________
Oh, and haha! Like I was telling Mirul and Shangbel, I had the heart attack of the century today! Totally trufax; not exaggerating.
We were breaking fast and I happened to glance at this giant bookshelf my mom found and dragged back home. It was then that I started to have fits. Actually, I was just making weird strangled noises.
ALL MY DOUJINS WERE ON DISPLAY THERE. YES, ALL. PRIMO AMORE WAS NO EXCEPTION.
And my mom went all, "Isn't this a nice bookshelf! You can put your comics here!" :DDDDD
I went all ---> !!! (O____O;;)||| ---> ((((\(@_____@;;;)/)))
I had to make up some excuse that the books were really expensive (hey, not really a lie; the 8059BOX cost a BOMB D: ) and I rushed them into my room to be hidden someplace safer and more private. Now my whole family thinks I'm some crazy cheapo. With the exception of Lenin who knows the truth; damn guy was sniggering throughout the entire ordeal. D:
Being a fangirl is hard work yo. D: _________________________
Oh oh, does anybody need colored contact lenses? Drop me a tag or msg me on msn! I have a lobang for affordable, nice lenses! :D
Sad
Quixotic
Dorky
Touched